Shameful Seven Times Over

INTENSITY – I can be anything when I am with him. Even the things that I am not.  He lives his fantasies with, through and for me because I WANT to be all that he needs.

He keeps me thinking up ways to please him and I go completely out of my comfort zone for him. Me and myself, well, we love the comfort of always knowing the “what’s to come” in all aspects of life. However, “I” am completely excited and enticed by his spontaneity, it drives me wild.

PARTNERSHIP – There is never really a time I am not astonished by his ability to secretly make me do just what he wants me to do. Thinking to myself, “Isn’t that a lot how addictions work?” You yearn for something that made you feel like you were on top of the world, even when you didn’t need to be that high up at times. As the saying goes, Too much of anything in not well for us, yet we take it anyway. We find ourselves taking it over and over again, because the pleasure overwhelms our senses. Although we stop for a very brief moment to simply breathe in, then exhale. We still find ourselves where we left off all over again. Right in the same ole continual motion in which we began. Ups and downs takes control.

FRIENDSHIP – People say, “Time is of the essence” but with him time doesn’t stand a chance. He just “IS” all the time. He resides in my mind and on my mind every waking moment. He even creeps in my dreams as I sleep. I think that part may be my fault though, because my final prayer to God is for his safety. This may be my way of ushering him into my dreams each night.

ESP – I keep pushing this man away, but his presence just keeps getting stronger. . It has to be his extrasensory perception that allows him to know that he shouldn’t really allow me to push him too far away. I find myself making decisions based on what he would do or how he would approve. I do that gladly because he is wisdom walking in the flesh. Face to face I try not to give him too much credit, so that I appear in normal range of his identity slowly taking over mine. I fall in love with him anew each day, because yesterday’s love was all used up. I gladly gorge myself with buckets of him at a time to make sure I have plenty of his antidotes. I can never allow withdrawals to occur.

VARIETY – When I say I can be anything, even what I am not….I mean, by the power he has invested in me goes well with my soul even when it is wrong as sin. He takes pride in the way he makes me feel with so little effort. His only envy is that he constantly desires to keep that ability. He becomes quite the glutton as he consumes my mind and little angry when my time is shared with another. Oh, and might I mention the lust I clearly see in his eyes for me is simply shameful seven times over. For his greed to be my sole pleaser overtakes him at times. Slothfully and assuredly he has taken over and I don’t even care. He has given my name a new definition.  Evangeline: LOVE

❤~Evangeline~❤