TLj – 7 Instant Sexy Couple Things!


Seven things you can do right now to spice up your relationship that works everytime.

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  1. Take your partner’s breath away. Do something amazingly thoughtful and out of the ordinary and try to incorporate an element of surprise in the relationship.
  2. Be mushy about them. New couples seem to do this naturally, but don’t drop this strong bonding behavior just because the relationship has progressed. This is one way to keep the romance alive and is especially powerful when making love.
  3. Learn that one move that drives them crazy in bed. Make it clear that his pleasure is your pleasure, and you want to discover everything about what turns him on. He/she will be happy to have you experiment.

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  1. Do something different from the norm. If you get your partner’s heart rate up, he may associate the feeling of excitement with you and he may develop more powerful feelings for you. Going on a roller-coaster ride, taking a balloon trip, go to a secluded cabin or anything with a touch of danger to it. This can make a relationship deeper in love by doing something that you can only rely on each other for.

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  1. Do something special for a person he or she loves. If you show kindness and love for someone he/she loves, you will earn major points. When you enter a relationship, you also enter a relationship with all his/her family and friends. Show that the people who are important to him/her are important to you.
  2. Document loving moments. Don’t be afraid to give voice to your love. Tell one another how you feel. Write a loving note or poem. Lovers have been doing this from the beginning of time because it works.
  3. Boost the chemicals of love. There are many brain chemicals that go into the feeling of love and attachment. Oxytocin is known as the bonding, trust, and cuddle hormone. Oxytocin is enhanced by watching romantic movies together, holding hands, cuddling, and long, loving eye contact. Women usually have more oxytocin than men, but according to one study, a man’s level of oxytocin goes up 500 percent after making love. Being too busy to make love pushes couples apart.

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TLj – How to Gain a Second Chance!


For today’s post, I went to my dopest friend for ideas on what to write about today. Ya see, sometimes us perpetual bloggers literally run out of fresh ideas, so I was happy that he replied quickly. He gladly gave me the topic and told me to call it “second chances.” I then asked him to elaborate a bit and that I’d start writing right away. He said, “Write about ways to reconnect with a long, lost, love and advice on reigniting a dying flame.”

With his simple suggestion, I immediately thought of a list of things a person can do to “gain a second chance!” If we focus on our own actions first, more times than not reigniting flames will come naturally. Flames always spark when we do what it takes to 031b999a8796abddb425606ba6e4b338--black-and-black-black-lovepromote the fire. And, if you think you deserve a second chance, you have to prove that there is nothing to be afraid of going forward. He or she must understand that previous issues won’t resurface in the future.

Now, we all remember learning about the Stop, Look, and Listen rule, right?  This was a warning tactic that was taught children to stay safe, but we still need that same type of safety in our relationships too. Am I right?  Sometimes all people need to do to repair broken relationships are already within them if they take notice. All we need are these 3 steps to build what will most likely will never fade anyway…

STOP!

Assess the situation around you. Be aware of how your actions may be making the other person feel and have understanding and empathy.

LOOK!

Be willing to look at the person in the mirror….that means you! Acknowledge your own wrongs as opposed the other persons. Be willing to say sorry and mean it! Keeping in mind that the rebuilding process may take a moment, so never place an estimated time on someone else’s healing process.

LISTEN!

Be meaningful in your words and always make sure they match your efforts. There is nothing worse than a person that talks the talk, but never walks the walk!!!

In closing, I personally am a big fan of second chances. However, if I am the one giving the second chance, I want to come out the other end of this thing UNDERSTOOD, RESPECTED and BETTER!

A special thanks to my friend for leading me on this particular topic and happy Tuesday to you all.

TLj – Forgiveness Does Not Equal Trust!


HUSBAND:  “Babe, I know I lied and betrayed you a few times. And, I’m sorry. But I’ve 23bde76426b7f6a6bd0fb947b776d00achanged and didn’t you say you forgave me?”

WIFE: “Why, sure I forgive you! Forgiving you was for my sanity and peace, but just because I have made a choice to forgive DOES NOT MEAN I TRUST YOU!!!”

QUOTE: Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this. Men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
~ Robert Jordan

 

cropped-cropped-20160629_222100.pngMarriage Counselor: “Let me explain the differnce of forgiveness verses trust in this week’s post! Clear your personal thoughts on what you see to be true and learn a new outlook.  Forgiveness is letting go of the past and trust is deciding a course for the future. Forgiveness is for your benefit. It releases you, but trust benefits the other person.”

 

The person who hurt you can try to do all kinds of things to compensate their wrong doings, but they can’t retract acts of betrayal no more than a time travel machine can cause us to unmake mistakes. The person my try to heal the damage, but after the4f35342805dfcf50ad39be39f55b955d damage is done, your personal choice to forgive is a free gift of grace that you choose to extend.  Forgiveness can never be earned…it has to be given.

Trust, on the other hand is always earned. If you don’t make someone earn your trust after they have been forgiven…you may find yourself being treated like a doormat to say the least. Earning trust after a betrayal is necessary. Ya see, you can go back and forth, arguing about the betrayal, but until trust is earned that’s all that will happen….tit for tats and no growing in the relationship.

When you forgive someone, you can either start to love them again or you can forgive and let them go. It’s one or the other, but never both. Always remember that forgiveness is not excusing or condoning their actions. Forgiveness is personal closure.

In closing, never sell your peace of mind by not forgiving people, but never sell yourself short by forgiving people without consequence. When choosing to forgive, put yourself and mental health before anything else. You deserve the best for you…life is too short to not put yourself first!!!

Have an amazing Tuesday!

 

 

 

Put A Wedge In It – Married with a Crush!


Being married with a little crush is no big deal if you’re all grown up and here is why…

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It shouldn’t be really surprising to learn that your partner may be attracted to someone else. Just because a person notices the opposite sex does not mean that it’s the end of your relationship. And heck, if you’re honest with yourself, you’ve probably checked out other people just within the last second ago or two. But, that by no means mean infidelity IF you are in a committed relationship.

In fact, new research from Indiana University finds that 70 percent of women in relationships admit to having crushes on other guys.

Yep, I’m talkin full-on crushes.

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I mean the kind of crush where you blush, flirt and even become fully excited when a particular guy enters a room. Furthermore, in the study, women who had been in a relationship for at least 3 years answered open-ended questions about their crushes. And, this was a study amongst full grown seasoned adults, not college kids.

Crushes don’t just magically stop during adolescence either. They continue right on throughout our lives and it is natural. However, it is how we handle our crush is where the real love and respect for our significant others step in.

If your relationship is solid, a crush can be a passing fad. But, if your relationship is rocky it can become more really fast. For example: If I had a crush (and Lord knows I have), I usually snap out of it and realize I wouldn’t really want to break my marriage up for something that very well may fad. So, managing your feelings is key.

How to Handle the Fact that you are Crushing HARD…!!!

  • Remember that it’s natural!

Though you may think you’re the worst wife/girlfriend in the world for even thinking that someone else is funnier, cuter or sexier than your undisputed one true love, the truth is that you’re not evil, you’re just human. In fact, you’ve only succumbed to the same natural phenomenon as millions of other good, decent men and women.

  • Have control!

Yes, I know those stomach butterflies are real…but it’s how you behave in the face of temptation that reveal your true character.

  • Look at the person you really are!

Ask yourself: Is this crush magnified because you are unhappy with your partner? A crush may reveal trouble in paradise or it may indicate that you’ve allowed too much emotional distance within your relationship. Spend less time thinking about that cute guy at work and more quality time with your partner and make sure it’s time spent laughing, talking, and confiding in one another.

  • Are you just lonely?

Keep your crush to yourself, but if you’re feeling lonely or undesirable or just missing some affection from your significant other, that’s information your partner should know. It isn’t necessary for our partner to know about the content of our fantasies, nor that we are even having them, but rather to be engaged in a discussion with them about what we are needing or missing in the relationship and how we can get it from them, in order that the two of us feel closer again.

  • Remember, your relationship is worth the fight!

Studies show that couples that grow together, stay together. So keep the love alive by continually experiencing new places, ideas and experiences with your partner. Draw your beloved closer and decide to take on the world…with all of its temptations, joys, sorrows and struggles…TOGETHER.

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Read a real life CRUSH here!