Put A Wedge In It – Married with a Crush!

Being married with a little crush is no big deal if you’re all grown up and here is why…


It shouldn’t be really surprising to learn that your partner may be attracted to someone else. Just because a person notices the opposite sex does not mean that it’s the end of your relationship. And heck, if you’re honest with yourself, you’ve probably checked out other people just within the last second ago or two. But, that by no means mean infidelity IF you are in a committed relationship.

In fact, new research from Indiana University finds that 70 percent of women in relationships admit to having crushes on other guys.

Yep, I’m talkin full-on crushes.


I mean the kind of crush where you blush, flirt and even become fully excited when a particular guy enters a room. Furthermore, in the study, women who had been in a relationship for at least 3 years answered open-ended questions about their crushes. And, this was a study amongst full grown seasoned adults, not college kids.

Crushes don’t just magically stop during adolescence either. They continue right on throughout our lives and it is natural. However, it is how we handle our crush is where the real love and respect for our significant others step in.

If your relationship is solid, a crush can be a passing fad. But, if your relationship is rocky it can become more really fast. For example: If I had a crush (and Lord knows I have), I usually snap out of it and realize I wouldn’t really want to break my marriage up for something that very well may fad. So, managing your feelings is key.

How to Handle the Fact that you are Crushing HARD…!!!

  • Remember that it’s natural!

Though you may think you’re the worst wife/girlfriend in the world for even thinking that someone else is funnier, cuter or sexier than your undisputed one true love, the truth is that you’re not evil, you’re just human. In fact, you’ve only succumbed to the same natural phenomenon as millions of other good, decent men and women.

  • Have control!

Yes, I know those stomach butterflies are real…but it’s how you behave in the face of temptation that reveal your true character.

  • Look at the person you really are!

Ask yourself: Is this crush magnified because you are unhappy with your partner? A crush may reveal trouble in paradise or it may indicate that you’ve allowed too much emotional distance within your relationship. Spend less time thinking about that cute guy at work and more quality time with your partner and make sure it’s time spent laughing, talking, and confiding in one another.

  • Are you just lonely?

Keep your crush to yourself, but if you’re feeling lonely or undesirable or just missing some affection from your significant other, that’s information your partner should know. It isn’t necessary for our partner to know about the content of our fantasies, nor that we are even having them, but rather to be engaged in a discussion with them about what we are needing or missing in the relationship and how we can get it from them, in order that the two of us feel closer again.

  • Remember, your relationship is worth the fight!

Studies show that couples that grow together, stay together. So keep the love alive by continually experiencing new places, ideas and experiences with your partner. Draw your beloved closer and decide to take on the world…with all of its temptations, joys, sorrows and struggles…TOGETHER.

Get the book on Secret Crushes Revealed

Read a real life CRUSH here!




The Art of Talking to Your Spouse – Tuesday’s Love Jones!

The art of conversation, like any art, is a skill of elegance, intention and creative execution. And, we seem to have that skill all together right when we are truly interested in the newness of getting to know someone. But, fast-forward years ahead, after marriage…the skill to really talk to our partner or even want to fades.


No boring conversation allowed…

Conversation is a form of communication and when you have good communication within the relationship there shouldn’t be much of a problem, right? Here’s what I have found to be part of the problem: Conversation is usually something that happens spontaneously, but with our mate it may feel very mundane or boring, lacking the excitement that it once had. I for one, have been married for 24 years, so I already know pretty much every response my hubs may have in any conversation we have.  Therefore, the feeling of routine sets in.


So, how can one fix that…?

This is where focus needs to take place. The one thing that I suggest to do is to take a little time to bring up topics that your partner really likes to talk about. For instance, my husband loves the National Geographic channel, so I talk to him about things he likes. By doing this,  I get to learn something from him that I never knew before.

Good conversation will always leave you with learning something about a person and how special for that person to be your spouse.

Next step…

Be interesting and have something to say. Pick up a new hobby, read a book or become informed about current events. This year’s 2016 Olympics is something to keep up on. There is nothing wrong with doing or learning something exciting to share with your spouse that will over- all keep communicating fun, new and creative.



Here is a list of great convo starters for couples that have been together for a long time like my hubs and me. These are merely examples, but I think they are great starters for fun conversation in your relationship.

  • I used to always wish I could?
  • I wish I had learned to?
  • I like it best when you refer to me as?
  • My greatest need right now as a woman is to?
  • My greatest need right now as a man is to?
  • If I could have any super power, it would be?
  • If I could have lived during another time period, it would be?
  • If we read out loud together what book would you pick?
  • If you won an all expenses paid trip to Rio for the Olympics, would you risk your health for it?

Have an amazing Tuesday, folks!!!






Get to know Kat here

44 Times Over – Tuesday’s Love Jones!

Okay, Okay!!!

Yes, it is waaaaay past my birthday, which was June 4th, but this is a tradition I have started here and I will not allow Katrina's 44th Bdayanything to stop that. Some people think I went into hiding (for what I have no idea), but the truth is that I was sick and had no desire to get on social media until God answered my prayers in healing my body. And, since my facebook had gotten hacked I simply decided to shut everything down.  God did heal me eventually, but it was such a task physically and emotionally.  Now that I am back on track with my health…this is the reason why this past birthday was so special to me.

No matter how much money you have, without good health, you may as well be the poorest person in the room!!!!

There is nothing like good health , so in this post I am urging folks (mostly women) to get regular checkups. A woman’s body is so complex that things could be going on in our bodies without even feeling symptoms until it is way too late. We women, are professional multitasking sheros with the emotional weight of our families literally on our shoulders and stress can sometimes be the biggest hidden factor of the illnesses that creep up on us.

When I finally decided to go to the doctor to see what the heck was wrong with me, the first thing my doctor issued was prescriptions that medicated the problem, but did little to really help. It actually made things worse with added side effects.

Long story short, I decided to take my health on a new path and began researching everything I could find about fibroids and the causes of continued bleeding. I soon was lead to homeopathic remedies and started learning about the benefits of juicing and smoothies. And yes I know…this is a story as old as time where people find new health through fruits, herbs and vegetables and trust and believe I was never really sold on any of that until I actually tried it myself.

For the first time in well over 5 months, my body was back on schedule without meds or dealing with chronic anemia. On a separate post I will share all the recipes I (with God’s help) created during the process of my healing!

Anyway, as far as my birthday this year…it was simply amazing! I seemed to have gotten gifts throughout the entire month of June and I know I am a loved woman. My Stockton family, husband and kids are my lifelines in all I do! I really appreciate how my husband was so patient and so understanding during my sickness. He was a pure example of what a man needs to be for his wife in sickness and health.

Now that God has healed me all up, I am starting my publishing company back to full force and I truly thank everyone for checking in on me and maybe even saying a silent prayer as well. Please forgive me for not may not returning calls or texts as I should have, but please know that I was in a dark place as far my health was concerned and I didn’t want to talk to anyone and that was just my lil odd way of handling things. However, through this happening, I got to clearly see whom real friends and family were.

Now here are the things I am 44 times over grateful:

  1. My husband, kids and nephew
  2. My mom and sisters
  3. My true friends
  4. The Bible
  5. The fact that God has everything on earth to heal our bodies and keep us healthy
  6. Morning coffee
  7. Sunny days in Bellingham
  8. My ability to write
  9. Making a woman smile (When a woman smiles, I feel as though God does the same)
  10. Plus size forever 21
  11. Great service at a restaurant
  12. When my life song comes on the radio every time I need it to (Make it Happen by Mariah Carey)
  13. Sexy heels that I can actually walk in
  14. When my husband calls me a hot chick
  15. Black coffee with my oldest son (He makes coffee seem magical)
  16. Red wine
  17. Talking to my favorite cousin (even at her worse she’s still the best)
  18. Word-find books
  19. Sewing a skirt
  20. Listening to my daughter share her love life to me like a best friend
  21. Getting a free surprise with my online orders
  22. Adore me (sexy plus size lingerie)
  23. Being a light to my children and nephew
  24. The Lion’s Room
  25. The Golden Girls
  26. Sex
  27. Hot Rod (the movie)
  28. Thank you notes (on Jimmy Fallon)
  29. My cell phone
  30. My debit cards
  31. Pop-Secret (Kettle Corn)
  32. My online store (www.fluffychic.com)
  33. Our new bed…it’s literally dreamy
  34. The Clark Sisters
  35. Smoothies
  36. My daughter’s homemade face cleanser
  37. My grand imagination
  38. The Riflemnn and Gun-Smoke
  39. The feeling of real love
  40. Being understood with few words
  41. Inside Jokes
  42. Carnations (Beautiful, yet cheap flowers)
  43. Looking in the mirror and saying to myself, “Not bad girlfriend…not bad at all!”
  44. Good health

Loving me


National Spouses Day – January 26


Tuesday's Love Jones- Go Vacate Somewhere!

National Spouses Day is observed annually on January 26th and how fitting today for our first post of the year. Hope this near year is proving great thus far #PawiiBlogReaders!!!

This National Day is dedicated to recognizing spouses everywhere, this day reminds us to take time for our spouse. From being thankful for fulfillment and security of a long-term relationship, to the boost of morale and well-being provided by spouses, there are many reasons to celebrate.   This day is a time to show your spouse that you care and appreciate all of the things that he/she does for you and for the home.

Life gets busy and we can often take for granted how our spouse improves our life.  Pay a heartfelt thank you or compliment to the love of your life.  National Spouses Day is a non-gift giving day, so spend time together and reconnect.  Don’t forget to say, “I love you.”


If it has been a while since you have expressed appreciation to the one with whom you are married, now is your chance. Again, this day is not about giving gifts but spending time together, enjoying each other and appreciating each other.  Use #NationalSpousesDay to post on social media.

Have a happy Tuesday and share with us how you have observed this special day in the comment section.