Tuesday (Night) Love Jones – Men Want Their Relationships to Work Just as Much as Women Do!


Dear Kat,

My wife and I have been married 14 years. During that time her mother has calls every single day. Initially, I was OK with it because we were living in Utah and she was in Colorado. However, since we’ve moved back to Colorado, because my wife wanted to be near her (we live three miles apart), she continues to call nightly and offer horrible relationship advice whenever the misses and I argue. Sometimes she’ll call during dinner or during our couple’s time after the kids are asleep. I have expressed to my wife how I really don’t like her messy influence in our relationship, but she never listens or consider my plight.

TuesdayNight

Am I out of line to ask my wife to chose couple time over her daily talks with her negative (almost witch-like) mother or am I being unreasonable? This is a touchy subject, and I don’t know how to resolve it to everyone’s satisfaction.

— Irritated in Colorado

With whom is this a touchy subject? Your wife? Her mother? The two of them? Considering that your mother-in-law lives close by and that she and your wife talk during the day, they appear to be excessively dependent upon each other.

TuesdayNight

As a partner in your marriage, you have the right to a quiet family dinner and private time with your spouse. If your wife can’t bring herself to get that message across to her mother, then you should set a time after which “Mama” should refrain from calling unless it’s an emergency. And, please don’t feel guilty about this at all…you deserve to be happy! Hell, in my opinion with all due respect, either the mother, wife or both really need to figure out a positive way to spend these talks without effecting the family unit, but on the other hand, irritated in Colorado…you only get one mother, so if you clearly see that your wife is making an effort after you all talk to rectify the situation…be patient! Allow her to work on it in her own way. And, know that the change may not happen overnight.

TuesdayNight

In closing, I truly thank you for sharing your issues with me and allowing me to share it anonymously on my blog.  So far we have gotten issues from more guys than women and I really love that. For some reason most people seem to think that men are always the reason for the demise in failed relationships or perhaps think that men don’t really care to make their relationships work, but hearing from you makes everything I do worthwhile! Men want their relationships to work just as much as women do.

Hopefully this post will help you two have a better Tuesday night,

— Kat 🙂

Tuesday’s Love Jones – Observing Passion!


Passion in the relationships makes love sizzle and cause you to levitate above your problems.  Our brains stimulate us more when we are in love or impassioned? Life seems glorious. Our problems don’t matter so much.  Impassioned relationships can work very well too, but there can be conflict and problems.

Inviting More Passion into Your Life

PawiiBlog on Passion

It always helps if each person in a relationship is passionate about his/her own life, and has a good relationship with himself/herself. If you are passionate about your life, every day starts with your energizing smile. You can’t wait to get out of bed! The other people in your life feel the energy and they want to be around you.

If you are passionate about your career, you are going to bring a lot of positive energy into your relationships. That can have a powerful influence for the good on the relationships that matter most. When each person is energized by his/her work, and they feel a sense of fulfillment because they are doing something they love and believe in, the relationship is going to percolate, baby.

If you are not happy in your work, the simple solution is to get happy! Don’t accept the same old status quo of your life. Find more fulfilling work – something about which you can truly be passionate. Something you feel you were meant to do or believe in immensely.

Is Romance in Play?

PawiiBlogs on Passion

In passionate relationships, people sometimes want lust or enchantment, not passion. They want passionate relationships to be characterized by that giddy state of affairs that often occurs during the first two or three years of a new relationship.

Mature relationships go through phases and changes, and the couple moves beyond the enchantment phase and settles into a quieter, perhaps more peaceful way of being together. It can be even more beautiful than the excitement of the enchantment phase, if the couple can stop and appreciate the warm glow that comes with knowing and loving each other ever so much more deeply.

Mature relationships can be like fine wine. The difference is subtle, but oh so good. Take time to find and nurture those subtleties.

Kat’s Tips – Give your passionate relationships a check‑up.

  1. Are the two of you equally committed to it?
  2. Are you equally empowered?
  3. Does each partner have an equal voice?
  4. Is your marriage set up mostly for the convenience and comfort of one over the other?
  5. Does one spouse have more responsibility and work to do than the other?
  6. Is the relationship fair?
  7. Are the partners equally supportive and helpful?
  8. Are you experiencing conflict on a spiritual level?
  9. Is one person doing most of the giving?

By addressing any concerns in these areas, you will improve your relationship substantially an if you find it difficult to use these steps, relationship coaching may be able to help. We can talk about ways coaching can directly benefit your relationships and make you happier and stronger. Relationships that reach their highest potential give life great meaning, happiness, and joy.

Contact me…

About a week before this post we asked our MEN ON REEL STAFF to give us one way they’d bring passion into their relationship and our longtime friend, Emmanuel Brown of the Seeing Growth Network came up with “poetry” as a way to show his woman how she completely captivates his attention.

A special thanks E! This Poetry is invigorating…you have a lucky girl on your hands!!! To find out all about Mr. Brown, visit him at www.seeinggrowth.net

LET ME OBSERVE YOU

By Emmanuel Brown

Let me observe you, from up close and afar
Gazing through your nights at a chocolate star
If you notice, please respond with that smile
No need to say a word, your action cover the miles
Maybe you didn’t think that you could melt through my coldness
But you definitely do, with that strength and that boldness
I couldn’t say a word when you took that powerful stance
As a humbled man, all I could do is wonder and glance
You knew what you did, you know what you do
Stepping into my game and you were wearing only you
So I put you in position and I even played the center
My house, my domain, so I’m the only one that could enter
But still your game remained just out of my reach
And I found myself being coached and learning to teach
Is that why do what you do from way over yonder?
Is it to leave me in cold sweats with many thoughts to ponder?
Is that smile just a smile or is there something in between?
Are you Seeing Growth in me, or Seeing something a little lean?
Are you hearing what I’m hearing? Are you feeling what I’m feeling?
Do you notice my shivers and shakes while I’m rocking and reeling?
Are you looking in my eyes? Can you see behind my shade?
Were you able to notice the small mess that I made?
Will you remain over there? Will you return every stare?
Will you hold me incarcerated with that only you can give glare?
Are those powers just for me? Are those hours just for me?
Was is always your plan to make those showers just for me?
Do you really realize just how far you have gotten?
Do you really believe that you could ever be forgotten?
Do you understand my thoughts? Do you understand that dream?
Do you know you caused that sweat? Do you understand that steam?
Although you are beyond belief, do you know you make every curve true?
Before drain myself further….

PLEASE!!!!!! Let Me Observe You!

Emmanuel Brown of SeeingGrowth

Emmanuel Brown of SeeingGrowth.net

Ten Emotional Needs for Men!


Here are 10 emotional needs of men. We all have them, but in different order of importance. My personal top needs, in order are:

  1. Spiritual security
  2. Family Commitment
  3. Openness & Honesty
  4. Physical Attractiveness
  5. Sexual Fulfillment
  6. Admiration

Now that’s me as a woman, but MEN are different…

In a survey we found that these are the TOP 10 emotional needs of men (maybe not in this order)…

Affection – Affection is the expression of care. It symbolizes security, protection, comfort and approval vital ingredients in any relationship.

Sexual Fulfillment – When you married, you and your spouse promised to be faithful to each other for life. You agreed to be each other’s only sexual partner. You made this commitment because you trusted each other to meet your sexual needs, to be sexually available and responsive to each other. The emotional need for sex, then, is a very exclusive emotional need. If you have this need, you will be very dependent on your spouse to meet it. You have no other ethical choices.

Recreational Companionship – Before you were married, chances are pretty good that you planned your dates around your favorite recreational activities. That’s because when it’s an important emotional need, recreational companionship can often deposit enough love units to trigger romantic love. And since you wanted your relationship to flourish, you probably chose activities that you both enjoyed.

Honesty & Openness – Those with a need for honesty and openness want accurate information about their spouses’ thoughts, feelings, habits, likes, dislikes, personal history, daily activities and plans for the future. If their spouse does not provide honest and open communication, trust is undermined and the feelings of security can eventually be destroyed. They cannot trust the signals that are being sent and feel they have no foundation on which to build a solid relationship.

Learn how to meet the need of Honesty and Openness

Physical Attractiveness – If you have this need, an attractive person will not only get your attention, but may distract you from whatever it was you were doing. In fact, that’s what may have first drawn you to your spouse his or her physical attractiveness.

Financial Support – People often marry for the financial security that they expect their spouse to provide them. In other words, part of the reason they marry is for money.

Domestic Support – Domestic support involves the creation of a peaceful and well-managed home environment. It includes cooking meals, washing dishes, washing and ironing clothes, house cleaning and child care. If you have the need for domestic support, when your spouse does some of these things, you feel fulfilled, and when it is not done you feel very annoyed.

Conversation – The need for conversation is not met by simply talking to someone. It is met when the conversation is enjoyable for both persons involved.

  1. Good conversation is characterized by using it to inform and investigate each other.
  2. Focusing attention on topics of mutual interest.
  3. Balancing the conversation so both have an equal opportunity to talk and giving each other undivided attention while talking to each other.

Family Commitment – In addition to a greater need for income and domestic responsibilities, the arrival of children may create in you the need for your spouse to become active in the moral and educational development of the children.

Admiration – Many of us have a deep desire to be respected, valued and appreciated by our spouse. We need to be affirmed clearly and often. There’s nothing wrong with feeling that way. Even God wants us to appreciate Him.

Physical Attractiveness – If you have this need, an attractive person will not only get your attention, but may distract you from whatever it was you were doing. In fact, that’s what may have first drawn you to your spouse his or her physical attractiveness.

Love in Real Time!


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