Put A Wedge In It – Married with a Crush!

Being married with a little crush is no big deal if you’re all grown up and here is why…

It shouldn’t be really surprising to learn that your partner may be attracted to someone else. Just because a person notices the opposite sex does not mean that it’s the end of your relationship. And heck, if you’re honest with yourself, you’ve probably checked out other people just within the last second ago or two. But, that by no means mean infidelity IF you are in a committed relationship.

In fact, new research from Indiana University finds that 70 percent of women in relationships admit to having crushes on other guys.

Yep, I’m talkin full-on crushes.

I mean the kind of crush where you blush, flirt and even become fully excited when a particular guy enters a room. Furthermore, in the study, women who had been in a relationship for at least 3 years answered open-ended questions about their crushes. And, this was a study amongst full grown seasoned adults, not college kids.

Crushes don’t just magically stop during adolescence either. They continue right on throughout our lives and it is natural. However, it is how we handle our crush is where the real love and respect for our significant others step in.

If your relationship is solid, a crush can be a passing fad. But, if your relationship is rocky it can become more really fast. For example: If I had a crush (and Lord knows I have), I usually snap out of it and realize I wouldn’t really want to break my marriage up for something that very well may fad. So, managing your feelings is key.

How to Handle the Fact that you are Crushing HARD…!!!

• Remember that it’s natural!

Though you may think you’re the worst wife/girlfriend in the world for even thinking that someone else is funnier, cuter or sexier than your undisputed one true love, the truth is that you’re not evil, you’re just human. In fact, you’ve only succumbed to the same natural phenomenon as millions of other good, decent men and women.

• Have control!

Yes, I know those stomach butterflies are real…but it’s how you behave in the face of temptation that reveal your true character.

• Look at the person you really are!

Ask yourself: Is this crush magnified because you are unhappy with your partner? A crush may reveal trouble in paradise or it may indicate that you’ve allowed too much emotional distance within your relationship. Spend less time thinking about that cute guy at work and more quality time with your partner and make sure it’s time spent laughing, talking, and confiding in one another.

• Are you just lonely?

Keep your crush to yourself, but if you’re feeling lonely or undesirable or just missing some affection from your significant other, that’s information your partner should know. It isn’t necessary for our partner to know about the content of our fantasies, nor that we are even having them, but rather to be engaged in a discussion with them about what we are needing or missing in the relationship and how we can get it from them, in order that the two of us feel closer again.

• Remember, your relationship is worth the fight!

Studies show that couples that grow together, stay together. So keep the love alive by continually experiencing new places, ideas and experiences with your partner. Draw your beloved closer and decide to take on the world…with all of its temptations, joys, sorrows and struggles…TOGETHER.

Get the book on Secret Crushes Revealed

Read a real life CRUSH here!

 

 

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       Katrina Gurl

 

Chestnuts and Such!

One can barely believe that this time of year has even come around this fast, but here we are in the thick of it all. Busy streets, lit up houses and desperate shoppers all over the place. The thing I want to cherish a little more this year is family and friends and take note of old traditions. Every year back home, we’d always rely on our mother to make Thanksgiving and Christmas magical, but this year WE made Thanksgiving pretty magical with my sister visiting and us all cooking together.

Out of all the Christmas traditions, there is one that I have never done and that is roasting chestnuts on an open fire.  It;s just never really presented itself as an action in my life, but this year
I think I’m gonna make it a point to do that this year. This year I will make memories that we can laugh about for years to come.

With recent shootings and terrorist threats all around the world, may we draw closer to God and even closer to our family and loved ones!

I truly wish you all happy holidays and will see you again right here in February…just in time for black history month. 🙂

Cheers to the holidays and happy New Year!!!

Pic taken by my sister, Cyrelle!

Dating in the Comfort of Your Own Home – Tuesday’s Love Jones!

Okay Readers…

So, we are in the thick of fall and things are pretty chilly outside, right? I literally love this time of the year, but the hubby hates it…he can’t wait for summer to come back.

When the weather is not the way you’d like it to be things can become boring and mundane in the relationship, but allow this post to help you and your mate to help you get through it.

Try some Stay at Home Dates…

RULES: NO FIGHTING, No talking about problems, JUST HAVE FUN!

~ Go on an appreciation dinner date. Before you take each bite of food or each sip from your drink, tell your spouse something you appreciate about him or her or something you appreciate that he or she has done recently or in the past.

~ Go on a virtual tour of museums online @ http://www.louvre.fr/en/visites-en-ligne

~ Listen to some old music you grew up with and chat about great memories.

~ Add a romantic twist to a board game. For example, with monopoly do something kinky to the other player when one lands in jail.

~ Recreate scenes from your favorite movies.

~ Redesign your bedroom together by creating a romantic ambiance that you both agree on.

~ Bake something together. The hubs and I make an AMAZING sweet potato pie over the holidays.

~ Write a letter on paper to your partner

~ Play indoor tag. When you catch each other think of something fun you can do like kiss for 30 seconds, etc.

~ Read scriptures together….Song of Solomon is quite intriguing .

~ Have a shower or bathtub date together.

~ Pretend you are a fashion photographer and do a photo shoot of your spouse.

~ Interview your spouse and write a biography about him or her.

~ Find a nearby FALL FAIR!!!!

~ Play hide and go seek. Think of romantic rewards that you can give to your spouse when he or she finds you.

~ Make hot chocolate and watch the rain or snow together.

~ Feed each other a meal.

~ Give each other foot massages.

~ Then plan your dream weekend getaway.

~ Take a long drive somewhere.

These are just a few ideas for the season, but feel free to make some of your very own. Have an amazing Tuesday!!! ~ Kat 🙂

Maxi, Maxi, Maxi – Tuesday’s Love Jones!

Maxi writes in telling me that she’s started a new job and was instantly attracted to a colleague. She says, over the past 3 months her and this college have had to work closely together and that the sexual tension is crazy.

Maxi shares that she can’t even remember the last time that she’s felt such intense physical attraction with anyone…including with her husband. Jerry (the co-worker), is married also and as the days go by the tension is rising. His flirting is incessantly and if I’m truthful, she says, she  loves every minute of it. He is tall and incredibly attractive. So far, she handles this outwardly by being totally professional all the time, but on the inside she says she is  always tense, full of energy and daydream of how it would feel to be romantically involved with him.

What should I do?

~ Max

In my professional opinion, there are some questions that I need you to ask yourself way before I tell you that you need to get a grip!

1). Do you love your husband?

2). How important is your marriage?

3). What are you missing in your life that you are entertaining this tomfoolery?

Here’s the off the record deal, Maxi! First off, this Jerry guy most likely flirts with every new female employee in the office and you may even notice that the longer your work there.

You, my friend, just so happen to be the new meat in the office.

The one thing that this Jerry has already shown you is that he does not respect marriage and you most defiantly should never fall for a guy with such standards. Another thing, he flirts with you because you allow him to. Most men know how to seek out the women that will give them the time of day.

And, as far as the “what should you do question” …well, that is solely up to you. If you think losing or harming your marriage is worth it; by all means carry on. But, if there is a mere chance that you honor your husband, you should begin letting this Jerry know that you are not interested in 100% of your actions.

I’d say that you should use this as fuel to seek what may be wrong in your marriage and work on how to feel that same passion with your own man.  Let this be an eye opening experience and not one that will keep you blind to the true harm this will bring.

If I may play devil’s advocate? Say you and this Jerry do have an office fling. What do you think will come next? Do you think this Jerry will become the love of your life and you two will ride into some sunset? Nah, more than likely, all it will do is cause you to feel guilty, used and uncomfortable every day after the fling at work.

Now, I never like to answer a question with another question, but Maxi…what WILL you do?

Have a prosperous Tuesday, Maxi!

~ Kat 🙂