Non-Committal by Tiffany Christina Lewis!

by Tiffany Christina Lewis

Commitment is a big issue. Or is it? Is commitment necessary in a relationship?

Before I start, let me clarify.  Monogamy is not in question with this article. Do not misunderstand that. I am all about monogamy. What I am concerned about is commitment: the literal, spoken or written term of a relationship being present and all inclusive. Commitment is the thing that makes us have to break up with a person. Because we have become completely committed, we must then break the commitment in order to see someone else. This is what I’m talking about.

This issue has plagued me for some time but I did gain some clarity after reading I Wouldn’t Mind Having a Husband, I Just Don’t Want to Be Somebody’s Wife: The Single Woman’s Guide to Self Ful-fillment by Elaine Flowers ( The wonderful Ms. Flowers, whom I now regard as one of my favorite authors, discusses the ultimate commitment, Marriage. Her book goes into great details but in a nut shell, what I got from the book is: intentions. What are your intentions?

This brings me to my point. In the past, as I matured in a male-female relationship, I asked a gentleman, “What do you want from me?”. He told me that he just wanted me to continue being a great friend for him. Okay. Ladies, what does this mean to you? To me, this means, Friends, nothing more. Right? That’s what I heard, friend, sooo, when I started seeing someone seriously, in a committed relationship, why was this “friend” of mine hurt by that? I wasn’t being sneaky or slutty about anything because he knew full well what was going on, but still? Mixed signals, much?

Beyonce’ said if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it… Yea, lots of guys I know turned their nose up at that idea but really, really, it’s true. In my case, I’m not rushing into marriage, thanks to Ms. Flowers, but commitment is a bare minimum requirement to keeping a woman in a man’s life. I pride myself on trying to think like a man and I don’t push the issue, but if a guy is hanging on to me like a vice grip, with no sign of commitment, then I kinda wanna ask, What’s up with that commitment dude? But that scares a lot of men. It’s like they want the consistency of a cool lady to hang out with, date and maybe be sexual with, but when they get the paper: Do you want to be my boyfriend, circle yes or no… that becomes an issue.

So, to answer my own question: Yes, I do believe that commitment is necessary in a relationship. IN A RELATONSHIP. That means, ladies and gentlemen, that if you would consider your goings on with a woman/man to be serious and permanent then you should fully commit. Make a verbal commitment. If you’re just playing around then pull back on the reins and don’t act like you could spend your whole life with that person.

Commitment offers some security to us ladies. I don’t assume to know if it makes a man feel secure, and maybe someone can clarify that for me, hint, hint, but I think we should all understand the value of commitment in a relationship. Commitment is a communication issue as well. Without that commitment, it could be implied that someone is playing the field. Of course, we shouldn’t jump to conclusions, but anything that could cause a miscommunication should be avoided.

Lastly, let’s say what we mean people! If you aren’t interested in a commitment, say that! And mean it! Don’t be upset when someone finds commitment elsewhere if you haven’t committed to them. Honesty is the best policy, especially as it relates to matters of the heart.


A special thanks to Tiffany C Lewis, a very respected guest writer for Put A Wedge In It Blogs!  Tiffany is also our beautiful tee shirt model over to the right of this page.


Continue Conversations with Men on Reel!

Join us as we continue conversations with panel guest Damien, Brooklen Borne and Emmanuel Brown! These two brave beaus will be talking with front row seat attendee’s: Nita Bee, Nike Ma and Le Sublime Poetess along with host Katrina Gurl.

Men on Reel: The segment about MEN, but especially designed for WOMEN. The segment helps women understand the heart of a man and learn things that they may never tell you.

Men on Reel Trailer – Arranged by upcoming author Robert D. Gordon

Show Times: Fri, Apr 20, 2012 @ 8pmPST / 10pmCST / 11pmEST.
Show Link:
Call in to speak with the host (646) 564-9751.

What questions do “YOU” have that you’d like us to ask LIVE on air?

List them in the comment section 🙂

The Mind in the Gutter Syndrome!

Okay so, the video below is a simple display of the D300 proving that you don’t have to be skinny to be fit and you don’t have to be super small to be able to move quick, precise and agile.

So what’s the problem with that?

Here’s where it all goes downhill for a recent writer that has a concerns that her mind is ALWAYS in the gutter.  She wrote in to KitKat’s Coaching asking for helpful ways to help her with her over active sexual imagination.

The woman is 34 years of age and feels as though it is abnormal to thing lustful thoughts ALL the time.  She stated that she is in a happy relationship, but that the simplest things can turn her on. In the video she sent to us, she told us that all she could visualize is all the grand things that D300 was capable of sexually and then she went on to further display that his exercise seemed more erotic than health stance.

We are replying to her as we speak and will share what we told her later today, but in the mean time…take a look at he vid below (ladies) to see if you too relate with her on this.

Men on Reel on Blog Talk Radio!

Last night was our very first “Men on Reel” segment.  A segment that originated on this very blog.  Men on Reel (MOR)…the segment about MEN, but especially designed for WOMEN.  Helping women understand the heart of a man and learn things that they may never tell you.

With us was special guest none other than Damian. Damian is an exquisite writer, dedicated spin of blogger for put a wedge in it blogs and friend. And he doesn’t just write on our blog…he has his own spot at

Nita Bee sat front row with a tightened seat belt, Katrina hosted and Cheryl used her star power to keep the party rockin’ in the chat room.  Unfortunately, we did not have enough time to address the tons of question we still had left for Damian, but he has assured us of his return.  Take a listen and share some feedback too 🙂

Listen on main blog page