Tuesday’s Love Jones – How Far is too Far to Move for Love?
This week, I got an e-mail from someone in need of boy advice. Her and her guy have been online dating for 3 months, they’ve met a few times and have become almost inseparable. She is thinking about moving with him, relocating in the next 6 months and wants to know if this is a good idea.
When I read her e-mail, I realized that I never wrote about how I made that decision. However, this isn’t the first e-mail I’ve gotten about long-distance love, so I thought I’d give you some questions to ask yourself to see if you’re ready to make the move.
Online dating has made it easier for us to find love these days No longer are we limited to our communities, family and friends and thanks to online social media sites like Facebook, finding love can be as easy as click of a button!
Which brings me to this very awesome story straight out of Steamy Trails Publishing’s soon to be released Secret Crush Book #2 where you will meet Atticus and Malina. Malina lives in New Mexico while the love of her life lived in Georgia.
Anyway (I digress)!!! These are questions you WILL NEED to answer BEFORE you move:
- Does he want you to move?
Be clear this is something you both want
- Hey, do you really, really know this guy?
How old is he? What is he looking for in a relationship? What’s his past like, what’s his family like, is he responsible, Do you love and like him? Where does he see his future? Does he have a good job or is he in school…be sure you know what’s really going on with him and trust your gut first.
- What are you giving up if you move?
You need to think about what you’re risking and create a plan B if things don’t work out.
- What do you expect from the move?
Do you see marriage in the near future or are you moving so you can have you boy toy at arm’s reach? Think about it!!!
This is huge. Can you handle being in a new city and the frustrations that come along with it? Even if you aren’t giving up a lot, are you OK with giving up life as you know it?
- What can you do to protect yourself?
You need to make sure you have an exit strategy before you go. Make sure you have cash saved up to take care of yourself on your own should something go horribly wrong with the move or the relationship.
You have to be able to own it; if you can’t, your big move won’t be nearly as fun because you’ll be caught up in your friends’ and family’s negative opinions. You have to own it — own that you made the choice, own that it might not work out, and make sure people know that you’re telling them, not asking them.
- Do you have job prospects in the new city?
You need to be familiar with the job market in your field in the new city. If it’s not promising, how long are you emotionally and financially prepared to be out of work?
- Do you love this person more than the life you have where you live now?
This is a really big one. It’s pretty simple, though; if the answer’s no: do not go! Stay where you are and find someone in your own town who makes your heart sing. I If the answer is “yes”, make sure to address all the other questions before you make the move. This is a big decision, but I promise it has the potential to be one of the most gratifying ones of your whole life. Never pass up a chance to be with the love of your life.
Other stories of long distance love