First! In today’s news, Brandy broke into stage song on and NY Subway and NOBODY even noticed! You can watch the video here, but its really embarrassing from beginning to end. VIDEO but on another note….EVERYONE is talking about her today and any press is good for business, right?
Now back to Tuesday’s Love Jone July 17, 2015
Who’s THIS Guy? by Katrina Gurl
Isn’t that the question we ask to ourselves often when our partner does something you’d never thought he or she’s do when you first got married?
When you get married to a particular person, you have altered your relationship to that person and there are different expectations in marriage than when you were dating, for example, committing to a monogamous relationship and having children and raising them typically become priorities, which require different skills and maturity than just dating. It would be weird if you didn’t change after you got married.
We often hear “You are not the person I married!” An accusation that things have changed for the worse and it makes us uncomfortable to recognize that our partner has changed and that we have changed right along with him.
But what can we do before things get out of hand?
Well, first things first…please, do not take your relationship for granted. Look at your partner with fresh eyes and try to grow with who they are today. However, this is not to say to go along with anything disrespectful or anything that will compromise your morals.
All this means to it to literally find the positivity in the changes you may be seeing. Celebrate your new best friend and instead say: “Hello stranger. Fancy meeting you here, Love.”
If I may speak for myself, when my hubs and I were married we were ages 20 and 22, so needless to say, we were the very effervescent high school sweethearts. What a laugh that is, because there was nothing sweet about the beginning of our marriage. Anyway, long story short. I personally had a hard time separating the fact that my husband was no longer the kid I’d went to school with and into the new role he was taking on as a husband and father.
In our school days, he was so sweet and gave me everything I wanted even back then, but the changes he was making (to me) came off a bit harsh and insensitive at times. I’d often look at him and think, “Who’s this guy? And what the hell have I signed up for!”
Boy! If I’d only known then what I know now!
Looking back, I see that the man was just trying to be a good husband, father and provider and he totally had my best interest in mind, but his delivery is what made me feel as though he was drastically changing.
Of course we adjusted and continued to grow together and here are some things you can do to have a smoother relationship when it seems that your mate is changing…
- Learn one another’s love language
We tend to like to give love in the same way we like to receive love, but what may work for you may not even work for your mate, so try to deeply understand why makes your partner feel truly loved.
- Meeting each other’s needs before your own
This literally means to think of your partner first in everything you do. I may seem mundane, but it you really love your mate it will come natural.
Have fun together and find as many ways as possible to do so. Your husband or wife is supposed to be the perfect representation of what a best friend should be and you should always find ways to make that happen.
I hope this post helps someone out there to have a HAPPY TUESDAY!!!