Tuesday’s Love Jones – A Piggyback Post!


The other day my fellow blogger (Xavier Young) posted an amazing topic that got my attention. The name of the post was “How do women liked to be SPOILED??” It’s a pretty simple question, but depending on the woman you ask, there can be a countless variations of responses. The women that did answer over on his post came up with so many views that helped me to realize the language of love means so many different things to each individual. Feel free to drop by his blog to see all the amazing responses at: LOVE IS CONFUSING!

HERE’S HOW I NEED TO BE SPOILED…

RESPECT: Respect is the most important building block in a relationship. Respect is a pattern of behavior that is found in healthy relationships. You have to give respect in order to get it and each partner deserves it.

HONESTY: To deepen the bond with your partner and stay more connected to each other you need to be totally honest. The more committed you are, the more loving the relationship. For me, honesty is a turn on. When someone is comfortable enough with themselves to be honest, it makes to want to give more of myself to the person I’m with whether that be physically or emotionally.

TRANSPARENTCY: People think that transparency is the same as honesty and here’s how they differ: Transparency is a way of relating to your partner in which you reveal your inner self, your true experience. That means exposing your vulnerabilities and fears, as well as your desires and points of view about whatever issues you’re discussing. Honesty is an individual practice a person chooses to live by.

TRUST: It is trust that allows us to navigate the uncertain and complex world we live in today. With the rise of the internet, mobile phones, email, chat and social media, it is so much easier for people to connect or spend more time others without your partner even knowing. Trust to me is being able to set my watch to what I know my mate will do in certain situations. Without even having a second thought, I want…no I need to know that I can trust my man in my presence or out.

and LUST: In a prior PAWII post, we had come to realize that lust is an emotion or feeling of intense desire in the body also an uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite. READ POST HERE

Within the marriage, there isn’t a problem with lust toward our spouses, because we are supposed to feel a strong sexual desire towards them, right?  It’s perfectly normal to lust your spouse during sex, but it is also something that one should practice 24/7 and that’s just another way I need to be spoiled!!!

In closing, I have enjoyed answering the question of my fellow blogger’s amazing post and can’t wait to see what he comes up with next.

 

Tuesday’s Love Jones – 100 over 50’s!


Did you know that most people in relationships operate according to a 50/50 plan?

Now, I don’t know about you all, but, I for one will never accept anything less than 100% of anything…especially in a marriage or relationship.

Thinking of marriage as a 100/100 relationship, with each person willing to do whatever it takes to make the marriage work will assure the practice of bliss.  For a marriage to thrive, both spouses need to put aside their own desires and seek to serve the other.

For example, as I stated in the video; the hubs and I are spending time together in Arizona during his regular work week. This was relaxation for me, but for him it’s still work as usual. When he decided to wash his truck, I, without even thinking, commenced to cleaning the inside of the truck to help as much as possible for him to finish thing up before heading to work that night.

We were naturally and immediately team getting thing done and helping each other without even having to discuss it.

Tuesday's Love Jones - 100 over 50!

Just imagine waking up each day with a mindset to make your partner’s day a little happier?  Part of giving 100% of yourself is also realizing that this requires you to NOT ONLY worry about you and your own needs in the relationship.  Giving 100% is putting in extra effort that is well worth it for the health of your union.

Marriage is the union of two imperfect people that can sometimes become selfish and less concerned with the feelings of their partner, but if you concentrate on implementing the 100/100 idea in your relationship the outcome of newfound positivity my surprise you.

Have a wonderful Tuesday and remember that 100% is so much better than 50!!!

Too lazy to read? That’s fine, click on slideshare…

Tuesday’s Love Jones – See with Emotional Eyes!


Miranda LambertIn today’s entertainment news:  #OHSOSAD!  Miranda Lambert fought back tears as she sang “The House That Built Me.” Just days before announcing her split from Blake Shelton, the 31-year-old country singer broke down a bit during her Cheyenne Frontier Days concert in Wyoming. “The last thing someone wants to do is cry in front of 19,000 people,” she told the audience as she tried to keep from crying while singing the ballad. They were so perfect together and I hate to see them split after only 4 years!!! WATCH THE VID

Now to Tuesday’s Love Jones – See with Emotional Eyes by Katrina Gurl

Last week I had to really brainstorm some ideas for a new post, as I love to make sure that everything I write is current and from a fresh point of view. Then it hit me and this is timeless. When couples get comfortable with one another, the one thing we forget to do is remain in awe of our mate.

Though familiarity may not breed contempt, it takes off the edge of admiration. – William Hazlitt

Nothing is wonderful when you get used to it. – Edgar Watson Howe

If your relationship with your partner doesn’t feel fresh, new and exciting try these things to your union a boost.Tuesday's Love Jones - See with Emotional Eyes!

Stop being too busy to see one another…I mean see with the emotional eye

The best gift you can give someone you love is the purity of your full presence.  Presence is complete awareness, or paying full attention to “the now.”  If you do not find at least some amount of presence in the moments you share with your partner, it is impossible to listen, speak, compromise, or otherwise connect with them on a meaningful level.

Never underestimate a good compliment to one another

The secret to a healthy, lasting relationship is not about how many days, months, or years you’ve been together, it’s about how much you truly love each other every day.  You must directly express this love through your words and actions.  It seems like such a small thing, but in our busy lives we often forget that a kind word, a helping hand, or just a smile and a quick “thank you” can create a bright spot in your partner’s life.

Remember that compromising is a sign of strength and love

Good relationships don’t just happen, and they aren’t built solely on a foundation of convenience.  They take time, patience, effort, and two people who want to be together and are willing to meet in the middle.  When there’s a disagreement, they work out a solution that works for both parties, a compromise, rather than a need for the other person to change or completely give in.

Stop the need to be right.

When it comes to closest relationships, you don’t always have to be right, you just have to not be too worried about being wrong.  Ask yourself, “Will it matter a year from now?”  Oftentimes it’s far better to be kind than to be right.

Keeping secrets sucks

You attract a person by the qualities you show them, you keep them around based on the qualities you truly possess.  Problems and flaws are a part of everyone’s life.  If you try to hide them, you don’t give the person who loves you a chance to truly know you and love you fully. As flawed as you might be, as out of place as you sometimes feel, and as lacking as you believe you are, you don’t have to hide the imperfect pieces of yourself from your partner.

They see your flaws as features that make you interesting, and they see your problems simply as a sign that you’re human too. By hiding things from your partner, you allow small problems to escalate and dominate both your life and your relationship.  If you make a mistake, it might be irritating, but don’t bury it inside you.  Be open about it, address it, and move on.  Our problems are really our blessings if we use them to grow stronger, both as individuals and as couples.  (Read Daring Greatly.)

Learn to forgive not get even

Getting even doesn’t help a relationship heal.  If you’re feeling pain, don’t take action that creates even more pain.  Don’t try to cover darkness with darkness.  Find the light.  Act out of love.  Do something that will enable you to move forward towards a more fulfilling reality. If your partner makes a mistake that hurts you, and you want your relationship grow beyond it, you have to start with forgiveness.  Without it, the potential for long-term happiness in a relationship is impossible.

You don’t forgive your partner because you’re weak; you forgive them because you’re strong enough to know that human beings make mistakes.  Forgiveness is giving up your craving to hurt them for hurting you.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move forward with your life… and hopefully move forward with your relationship too.

In closing

The greatest relationships take a great deal of work.  They don’t just happen, or maintain themselves.  They thrive only when two people make an effort and take the risk of sharing what it is that’s going on in their heads and hearts. Keep in mind that every couple has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that’s the way it should be…you’re a partnership, and partnerships can’t function without regular communication and compromise.  When you don’t talk it out, there’s a lot of important stuff that ends up not getting said.

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

Tuesday's Love Jones - See with Emotional Eyes by Katrina Gurl

~ Katrina

Tuesday’s Love Jones – Who’s THIS Guy?


Brandy sings on subway and gets ignored

PawiiNews

First! In today’s news, Brandy broke into stage song on and NY Subway and NOBODY even noticed! You can watch the video here, but its really embarrassing from beginning to end. VIDEO but on another note….EVERYONE is talking about her today and any press is good for business, right?

Now back to Tuesday’s Love Jone July 17, 2015

Who’s THIS Guy? by Katrina Gurl

Isn’t that the question we ask to ourselves often when our partner does something you’d never thought he or she’s do when you Who’s THIS Guy? by Katrina Gurlfirst got married?

When you get married to a particular person, you have altered your relationship to that person and there are different expectations in marriage than when you were dating, for example, committing to a monogamous relationship and having children and raising them typically become priorities,  which require different skills and maturity than just dating. It would be weird if you didn’t change after you got married.

We often hear “You are not the person I married!” An accusation that things have changed for the worse and it makes us uncomfortable to recognize that our partner has changed and that we have changed right along with him.

But what can we do before things get out of hand?

Well, first things first…please, do not take your relationship for granted. Look at your partner with fresh eyes and try to grow with who they are today.  However, this is not to say to go along with anything disrespectful or anything that will compromise your morals.

All this means to it to literally find the positivity in the changes you may be seeing. Celebrate your new best friend and instead say: “Hello stranger. Fancy meeting you here, Love.”

Who’s THIS Guy? by Katrina GurlIf I may speak for myself, when my hubs and I were married we were ages 20 and 22, so needless to say, we were the very effervescent high school sweethearts. What a laugh that is, because there was nothing sweet about the beginning of our marriage. Anyway, long story short. I personally had a hard time separating the fact that my husband was no longer the kid I’d went to school with and into the new role he was taking on as a husband and father.

In our school days, he was so sweet and gave me everything I wanted even back then, but the changes he was making (to me) came off a bit harsh and insensitive at times. I’d often look at him and think, “Who’s this guy? And what the hell have I signed up for!”

Boy! If I’d only known then what I know now!

Looking back, I see that the man was just trying to be a good husband, father and provider and he totally had my best interest in mind, but his delivery is what made me feel as though he was drastically changing.

Of course we adjusted and continued to grow together and here are some things you can do to have a smoother relationship when it seems that your mate is changing…

  • Learn one another’s love languageWho’s THIS Guy? by Katrina Gurl

We tend to like to give love in the same way we like to receive love, but what may work for you may not even work for your mate, so try to deeply understand why makes your partner feel truly loved.

  • Meeting each other’s needs before your own

This literally means to think of your partner first in everything you do. I may seem mundane, but it you really love your mate it will come natural.

  • Do things together often

Have fun together and find as many ways as possible to do so. Your husband or wife is supposed to be the perfect representation of what a best friend should be and you should always find ways to make that happen.

I hope this post helps someone out there to have a HAPPY TUESDAY!!!

Hugs 🙂

~ Katrina