Tuesday’s Love Jones – Things for Couples to Remember While Quarantining!


Quarantine Ideas by Katrina Gurl

Since Trump doesn’t know how to run the country and is suggesting that his followers ingest cleaning products as a COVID19 antidote…our best bet is just stick closer to our family and learn new ways to strengthen our relationships withPawii our partner.

Let’s face it, there are a LOT of couples packing with tensions of quarantining in close quarters during this worldwide pandemic. Let’s just jump to the bold stuff, before you have to put a tranquilizer dart in your spouse’s neck for doing that irritating, “thing” again. Just be honest and put your feelings on the table and work them out like adults.

  1. I’m not used to you being home all day!

Like you, your spouse is under all sorts of stress. From working from home to homeschooling to the economy to lack of hand-sanitizer to having to live with you, the struggle is real.

When they mess up, ease up. Try not to get all bent out of shape about the way they deal with the kids, their towels on the floor, their way of managing to slurp through every bite of their cereal. Give them the grace you need now or are going to need soon.

  1. All these years and I never knew you were such a mean person!

Somehow we know exactly how to be kind to stranger during an entire work week, but now that we are at home every day with our loved ones, the knowledge of that has seemed to walk right out the door. You may be surprised how staggering helpful small doses of kindness can be for your relationship.

  1. You’re strange these days!

Some couples have a lot of differences. Every couple has some differences. Some of you are stressed your mate is not stressed enough about the coronavirus. Some of you are stressed because your spouse is too stressed. Some of you hate this time has messed-up your structure, while others are thrilled daily hygiene is optional.

Although it’s frustrating when you re-see the face you promised to love. They may be a LOT to deal with, but, so are you. There’s no better way to draw your mate to you than accepting them, all of them. They need your acceptance now more than ever.pawii2

  1. Try to have fun in this UN-FUN situation

I fully understand the coronavirus is serious. How in the world could we ever forget? The reminders are everywhere. But too much news causes too much stress. Too much stress weakens your immune system.

So, for the sake of doing your part, try to be at least semi-fun. You don’t have to do stand-up, but at least tell some jokes or do something fun around the house. And for all the love of God, if you see your mate TRYING to be kind, try to follow suit.

2020 is turning out to be the strangest year in a long while, but as far as relationships go…let’s make it remarkable memorable.

Below are some creative activities for couples. Some of them are weird, but who knows how long this will last. Things may get desperate!

Have Themed dinner and a movie…

  • Whip up a buttery and then watch Black AF or Dolemite Is My Name or The Big Lebowski.
  • Find a favorite, romantic play online and act it out for the family, or just for yourselves.

Put on a fashion show for each other

  • Do this while cleaning out the closet…try on clothing and show off your sexy off and let him/her decide if you should keep or toss that item.

Explore Instagram Live – Club Quarantine with DJ D- Nice

  • In a coronavirus world, for many folks, Saturday nights might have meant dance parties at clubs all around the country. But as we’re all social distancing, thanks to DJ D-Nice, any person anywhere can be part of one giant dance party at the same time—via Instagram.

Each week Club Quarantine reaches over of 100,000 with live viewers. Guests including Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, and John Legend popped in to the “party” throughout the week, but on Saturday the party got lit, as the kids say, with guests including Michelle Obama, Jennifer Lopez, Rihanna, Ellen DeGeneres. Even Democratic presidential candidates Vice President Joe Biden and Senator Bernie Sanders joined in on the fun! And, let’s not forget #SEXYTIME whenever Halle Barry steps in the room as chatroom fam has coined the hashtags #BERRYNICE.

D-Nice spins tracks by artists including Rihanna and Janet Jackson, he shouted out his special guests—even joking that perhaps guest Mark Wahlberg. Many also remarked on the power that music and dance has to change the world.

Tuesday’s Love Jones – Aging Sensually!


If your sex drive has taken a dive recently, you’re not alone: it’s common to go through waves of low libido as we age, buy just because we’re aging does not mean we have to take this lying down (get it? Lying down?) Let’s try out some of these of methods of boosting your sex drive and you’re sure to feel like your old self in no time.

Get Your Vitamin C Fix
Taking in plenty of vitamin C is good for you. What you might not have known, though, is that it’s also great for your sex drive. It turns out stocking up on foods like oranges, kiwi, green peppers, guava, and strawberries can really get you in the mood. Studies show that women who have high intakes tend to have more and sex.

Have a Cup of Coffee
Coffee wakes you up, gives you energy, and boosts your sex drive! Caffeine tends to make you want to get it on and will even give you a better experience once you do. So grab a cup or two tomorrow morning and get it on before work.

Massage Oil
Did you know that applying topically to your nether regions to heat things up?

Drink Some Red Wine
Drinking red wine to help increase your sex drive sounds way too good to be true. But no, you’re not dreaming! Studies found that treating yourself to a moderate intake of the antioxidant-packed beverage could help increase sexual desire, lubrication, and overall sexual function.

Try Fenugreek
You might not know too much about Fenugreek. The medicinal herb is touted as a way to help lower blood sugar levels and increase breast milk production, but research literally found that by taking a daily supplement of the powerful plant could also play a role in increasing sexual arousal and desire.

Serve Up Some Watermelon
Eating watermelon is such a summer treat, but you might want to grab it year-round: Research found the fruit might have Viagra-like effects on the body, giving your libido a solid boost due to the compounds it contains.

 

Make Time for Intimacy
It might feel weird taking the time to schedule in your freaking in the sheets, but in these fast flighting days we need way more playtime in our lives, right? The Mayo Clinic says adding some time for intimacy can get your sex drive back on track. And, get with the times and make that cell phone work for you more by sending a calendar invite to your hubby with some eggplant emojis to give him something to look for.

Drink Pomegranate Juice
Aside from water, there’s one more important beverage to include in your diet—at least in terms of your sex drive: pomegranate juice. According to a recent study in Scotland, just one glass a day not only helped boost participants’ mood and memory, but it also increased the amount of testosterone in their bodies, in turn increasing their libido. And for more ways to boost your testosterone.

Be More Open and Transparent with Your Partner
Sitting down and talking about why your sex drive has taken a hit with your partner might feel uncomfortable, but it’s necessary…especially if you want to get back on track! The Mayo Clinic also says communicating in an open, honest way can help you “maintain a stronger emotional connection, which can lead to better sex.” I always tell the men that come to counseling with their wives – “Honesty can be one of the sexiest things to turn your woman on!”

Doctor Prescribed Clitoral Therapy
Did you know that your doctor could help you increase your sex drive with a simply prescription for a device that costs $250? According to Harvard University, the Eros Clitoral Therapy Device uses a gentle vacuum to increase genital flow to the area — and in clinical trials, women were super impressed: 90% felt more sensation in the area after using it, and 80% had increased sexual satisfaction.

Reading Sexy Lit
Books are the best sex toy. According to a medical sexologist, nothing promotes sexual behavior and satisfaction quite like reading a book. This approach, known as bibliotherapy, has the ability to heal patients through the reading of texts. Sexy texts, in this case.
In addition to the sexual benefits of reading, bibliotherapy also has general psychological perks. Research suggests that actively fantasizing releases chemicals like dopamine and testosterone, which promote happiness.

It’s better than adult films because most women can’t relate to watching a hairless, glistening model with a tiny waist and huge breasts. Writers of erotica generally omit physical details about the characters’ appearances. Instead, they focus on emotional relationships and situations. This makes it easier for female readers to insert themselves in the scenario.

Books are safe the meaningful relationship if you’re trying to repair your libido. Women can’t feel aroused if they are inhibited. Finding that right balance of familiarity and boundaries can be hard to do, but books make it easy. Anyone can pick up a book at their leisure and read it on their own time.

I just so happen to be giving 5 free copies of my own book to the first 5 readers of this blog. All you have to do is fill out the register below for a copy of The Balcony View Revisit by yours truly, Katrina Gurl. This books is filled with short sexy stories that will light your room of fire.

Apply Here…

Tuesday’s Love Jones – A Piggyback Post!


The other day my fellow blogger (Xavier Young) posted an amazing topic that got my attention. The name of the post was “How do women liked to be SPOILED??” It’s a pretty simple question, but depending on the woman you ask, there can be a countless variations of responses. The women that did answer over on his post came up with so many views that helped me to realize the language of love means so many different things to each individual. Feel free to drop by his blog to see all the amazing responses at: LOVE IS CONFUSING!

HERE’S HOW I NEED TO BE SPOILED…

RESPECT: Respect is the most important building block in a relationship. Respect is a pattern of behavior that is found in healthy relationships. You have to give respect in order to get it and each partner deserves it.

HONESTY: To deepen the bond with your partner and stay more connected to each other you need to be totally honest. The more committed you are, the more loving the relationship. For me, honesty is a turn on. When someone is comfortable enough with themselves to be honest, it makes to want to give more of myself to the person I’m with whether that be physically or emotionally.

TRANSPARENTCY: People think that transparency is the same as honesty and here’s how they differ: Transparency is a way of relating to your partner in which you reveal your inner self, your true experience. That means exposing your vulnerabilities and fears, as well as your desires and points of view about whatever issues you’re discussing. Honesty is an individual practice a person chooses to live by.

TRUST: It is trust that allows us to navigate the uncertain and complex world we live in today. With the rise of the internet, mobile phones, email, chat and social media, it is so much easier for people to connect or spend more time others without your partner even knowing. Trust to me is being able to set my watch to what I know my mate will do in certain situations. Without even having a second thought, I want…no I need to know that I can trust my man in my presence or out.

and LUST: In a prior PAWII post, we had come to realize that lust is an emotion or feeling of intense desire in the body also an uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite. READ POST HERE

Within the marriage, there isn’t a problem with lust toward our spouses, because we are supposed to feel a strong sexual desire towards them, right?  It’s perfectly normal to lust your spouse during sex, but it is also something that one should practice 24/7 and that’s just another way I need to be spoiled!!!

In closing, I have enjoyed answering the question of my fellow blogger’s amazing post and can’t wait to see what he comes up with next.

 

Tuesday’s Love Jones – From the Past to Start!


5887e4cf632122531c5e5212485eac1aI am frequently contacted by prospective clients who need help letting go of past hurts.

These inquiries come from both men and women, as the pain of past hurts hits both equally. The request is always the same…how do I let go of the past and move the good part of my relationship?

When I get these email requests, I always respond with “yes, indeed, I can help you.” I know I can help because I have helped men and women fully let go and move to greatness in their relationship or marriage hundreds of times, using the strategies I am about to share with you.

In all honesty, forgiving someone is the easy part, but forgetting a betrayal or pain brought on is the hard part. Our mind and body repeats the pain over and over and when you are actually in union with the quote/unquote perpetrator.  We get into a trauma of it all and lose our way along the way.

To help you begin to let go, let’s look at the 3 reasons you hold on to the past:

Typical Reason #1:

You are afraid you will be hurt again. This is when it is imperative for the hurt-er to become transparent.

Typical Reason #2:

You are afraid that you are a fool for staying. Continuing in a marriage after a betrayal takes pure bravery. Some people may look at you are a weak person, but I urge my clients to know that staying is where the real power lies. Side: I never tell couples to stay on a continual, emotionally abusive relationship.

Typical Reason #3:

You are stuck in a mental trap of trying to figure out how the betrayal went right under your nose. You think about past words or actions that you could have picked up on. You may even repetitively think about what you could have done differently so that it would not have happened in the first place.

When I coach clients to let go of past hurts, I work with them to directly change these beliefs and get unstuck. We work on changing the belief that it is their fault, so that they can let go of the preoccupation with figuring this out.

Then we do one more thing to solidify the letting go process. This is the thing I want to share with you, as it makes a huge difference in being able to let go.

How to finally let go:

So long as you keep thinking about it…looking at them won’t be any better for you.  Continuing to think about the hurt in your relationship puts your past front and center in your mind, preoccupying your emotional and mental energy. There is simply no way to let go while your past is hijacking your future. Your future needs to go back to being in its proper place, in front of you, so that it can pull you forward.

One direct and effective way to work on this is to intentionally create a future to look forward to. To start this process, reflect on the following question:

“What do I want now, that would bring me joy, that I can reasonably see myself creating?”

In answering the question, be careful, because creating a fairytale future that you can’t buy into will do you no good.

Create yourself a future with your spouse that you can reasonably see yourself having, requiring effort and some risk on your part. Allow this question about the future to gradually preoccupy more and more of your time and mental energy, crowding out the time you spend thinking about the hurt. Think repeatedly about the “joy” part of the question…you are creating a future that will bring you joy.

At some point the momentum of the future-building process in your relationship will take over and you won’t have to work at it so much. You will be moving forward and creating a life that brings you joy as you go.

Hope this has helped,

Have a happy Tuesday 🙂