Put A Wedge In It Blogs – Look at this Mitch!


Look at this #Mitch! #Repost @kevinhart4real ・・・Kevin Hart cheated on his pregnant wife just like he did in his first marriage and has finally put out a lame “I’m not perfect apology” video! 


Which this video only comes in lieu of the woman he cheated with trying to extort money from him to keep her mouth shut! 

Humph…!!! When are people gonna realize that being perfect is not what keeps us from CHEATING!!! COMMITMENT is what keeps folks from hurting their partners!!! 

TLj – Forgiveness Does Not Equal Trust!


HUSBAND:  “Babe, I know I lied and betrayed you a few times. And, I’m sorry. But I’ve 23bde76426b7f6a6bd0fb947b776d00achanged and didn’t you say you forgave me?”

WIFE: “Why, sure I forgive you! Forgiving you was for my sanity and peace, but just because I have made a choice to forgive DOES NOT MEAN I TRUST YOU!!!”

QUOTE: Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this. Men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
~ Robert Jordan

 

cropped-cropped-20160629_222100.pngMarriage Counselor: “Let me explain the differnce of forgiveness verses trust in this week’s post! Clear your personal thoughts on what you see to be true and learn a new outlook.  Forgiveness is letting go of the past and trust is deciding a course for the future. Forgiveness is for your benefit. It releases you, but trust benefits the other person.”

 

The person who hurt you can try to do all kinds of things to compensate their wrong doings, but they can’t retract acts of betrayal no more than a time travel machine can cause us to unmake mistakes. The person my try to heal the damage, but after the4f35342805dfcf50ad39be39f55b955d damage is done, your personal choice to forgive is a free gift of grace that you choose to extend.  Forgiveness can never be earned…it has to be given.

Trust, on the other hand is always earned. If you don’t make someone earn your trust after they have been forgiven…you may find yourself being treated like a doormat to say the least. Earning trust after a betrayal is necessary. Ya see, you can go back and forth, arguing about the betrayal, but until trust is earned that’s all that will happen….tit for tats and no growing in the relationship.

When you forgive someone, you can either start to love them again or you can forgive and let them go. It’s one or the other, but never both. Always remember that forgiveness is not excusing or condoning their actions. Forgiveness is personal closure.

In closing, never sell your peace of mind by not forgiving people, but never sell yourself short by forgiving people without consequence. When choosing to forgive, put yourself and mental health before anything else. You deserve the best for you…life is too short to not put yourself first!!!

Have an amazing Tuesday!

 

 

 

Tuesday’s love Jones – Devotion or Too Much!!!


Every year Jackie and Doug Christie renew their vows, and this year for their 20th anniversary! The Christies let the Basketball Wives LA cameras film their 20th marriage renewal, which was featured on the season finale of the VH1 reality show. The surprise wedding had viewers shed a few #RealBlackLove tears as the beautiful moment played out on Sunday night’s episode.

Is this type of devotion each year ideal or too much?

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The Art of Talking to Your Spouse – Tuesday’s Love Jones!


The art of conversation, like any art, is a skill of elegance, intention and creative execution. And, we seem to have that skill all together right when we are truly interested in the newness of getting to know someone. But, fast-forward years ahead, after marriage…the skill to really talk to our partner or even want to fades.

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No boring conversation allowed…

Conversation is a form of communication and when you have good communication within the relationship there shouldn’t be much of a problem, right? Here’s what I have found to be part of the problem: Conversation is usually something that happens spontaneously, but with our mate it may feel very mundane or boring, lacking the excitement that it once had. I for one, have been married for 24 years, so I already know pretty much every response my hubs may have in any conversation we have.  Therefore, the feeling of routine sets in.

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So, how can one fix that…?

This is where focus needs to take place. The one thing that I suggest to do is to take a little time to bring up topics that your partner really likes to talk about. For instance, my husband loves the National Geographic channel, so I talk to him about things he likes. By doing this,  I get to learn something from him that I never knew before.

Good conversation will always leave you with learning something about a person and how special for that person to be your spouse.

Next step…

Be interesting and have something to say. Pick up a new hobby, read a book or become informed about current events. This year’s 2016 Olympics is something to keep up on. There is nothing wrong with doing or learning something exciting to share with your spouse that will over- all keep communicating fun, new and creative.

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Finally…

Here is a list of great convo starters for couples that have been together for a long time like my hubs and me. These are merely examples, but I think they are great starters for fun conversation in your relationship.

  • I used to always wish I could?
  • I wish I had learned to?
  • I like it best when you refer to me as?
  • My greatest need right now as a woman is to?
  • My greatest need right now as a man is to?
  • If I could have any super power, it would be?
  • If I could have lived during another time period, it would be?
  • If we read out loud together what book would you pick?
  • If you won an all expenses paid trip to Rio for the Olympics, would you risk your health for it?

Have an amazing Tuesday, folks!!!

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