Tuesday’s Love Jones – Fighting with Respect!


 

When it comes to relationships, conflict is inevitable. But it doesn’t have to be emotionally distressing or callous. Couples can disagree and, yes, even fight while still showing compassion and respect for each other. Relationships that can’t be saved are relationships where the flame has completely gone out, or it wasn’t there in the first place

Frequent heated and hurtful conflict is certainly not healthy or sustainable, either. You can have conflicts with your partner in a constructive way, and it may actually bring you closer together.

If you want to navigate conflict with your partner in a healthier and more productive way, keep these things in mind during your next argument:

~ Schedule a time for conflict

~ Call a timeout if you or your partner needs one

During an argument, it’s common for one or both partners to enter “fight, flight or freeze” mode, humans enter one of these modes when they think they may be in danger. “Fight or flight” refers to when stress hormones activate to give people more energy to either fight the stressor or run from the situation. And “freeze” mode occurs when a person simply does not react at all, in hopes that the stressor loses interest in the fight.

~ Make requests instead of complaints

Fights often start with the same two words: “You always.” Rather than asking their partner to do something they’d like them to do, like cleaning up around the house, people jump to make accusations.

~ Listen, and ask your partner for clarification

~ Learn the right way to apologize to your partner

Just as people have different love languages, we have different apology languages, too. It’s not enough to recognize that you’ve hurt your loved one and you owe them an apology: You have to know them enough to tailor your apology to their needs.

In closing, remember that when couples argue, we are not enemies. Even when we do not agree we are still on the same team!

TLj – Rapturous Bonds!


“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together.” ~Unknown

By now I’m sure that most of of us KNOW that there are no such things as perfect relationships, but however, there are perfect things we can do to make them feel that way.

Trust

Trust is crucial. Period. No ifs or buts. If you are in the relationship for the long term, you simply cannot afford to have trust issues. There is no room for doubt. You have to trust with a full heart that your partner loves you.

Quality Time

Quality time is essential. Do something fun together, do something meaningful, have meaningful conversations, pay attention to each other, and express your love like crazy.

Communication

When you communicate with your loved one, remember that love is the key. Speak from the heart. Have good intentions and be clear. Discuss problems in a loving manner. Practice effective active listening skills; do not interrupt the other person, listen and watch. Be mindful. Remain calm. Be respectful. Be loving.

Small Acts of Kindness

Small acts of kindness have always been a big part of of a good relationship. Small acts are vital. Whether it is a small gift, doing the dishes, or giving a hug, it shows your love and support. Send flowers, send an ecard, or leave a small note on the table. Bake cookies or make breakfast in bed. Give hugs and kisses for no reason other than to show your love.

Express Your Love

Love is always the foundation. It’s nearly obvious, but sometimes so obvious that couples tend to forget about it, and saying “I love you” becomes monotonous. But love is the basis and the reason of your relationship. So express your love through actions, words, and non-verbal communication. Don’t make “I love you” a routine, but instead always, and I do mean always, say it from the heart.

This is Kat’s call and have a rapturous Tuesday!!!

Put A Wedge In It Blogs – Look at this Mitch!


Look at this #Mitch! #Repost @kevinhart4real ・・・Kevin Hart cheated on his pregnant wife just like he did in his first marriage and has finally put out a lame “I’m not perfect apology” video! 


Which this video only comes in lieu of the woman he cheated with trying to extort money from him to keep her mouth shut! 

Humph…!!! When are people gonna realize that being perfect is not what keeps us from CHEATING!!! COMMITMENT is what keeps folks from hurting their partners!!! 

TLj – Forgiveness Does Not Equal Trust!


HUSBAND:  “Babe, I know I lied and betrayed you a few times. And, I’m sorry. But I’ve 23bde76426b7f6a6bd0fb947b776d00achanged and didn’t you say you forgave me?”

WIFE: “Why, sure I forgive you! Forgiving you was for my sanity and peace, but just because I have made a choice to forgive DOES NOT MEAN I TRUST YOU!!!”

QUOTE: Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this. Men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
~ Robert Jordan

 

cropped-cropped-20160629_222100.pngMarriage Counselor: “Let me explain the differnce of forgiveness verses trust in this week’s post! Clear your personal thoughts on what you see to be true and learn a new outlook.  Forgiveness is letting go of the past and trust is deciding a course for the future. Forgiveness is for your benefit. It releases you, but trust benefits the other person.”

 

The person who hurt you can try to do all kinds of things to compensate their wrong doings, but they can’t retract acts of betrayal no more than a time travel machine can cause us to unmake mistakes. The person my try to heal the damage, but after the4f35342805dfcf50ad39be39f55b955d damage is done, your personal choice to forgive is a free gift of grace that you choose to extend.  Forgiveness can never be earned…it has to be given.

Trust, on the other hand is always earned. If you don’t make someone earn your trust after they have been forgiven…you may find yourself being treated like a doormat to say the least. Earning trust after a betrayal is necessary. Ya see, you can go back and forth, arguing about the betrayal, but until trust is earned that’s all that will happen….tit for tats and no growing in the relationship.

When you forgive someone, you can either start to love them again or you can forgive and let them go. It’s one or the other, but never both. Always remember that forgiveness is not excusing or condoning their actions. Forgiveness is personal closure.

In closing, never sell your peace of mind by not forgiving people, but never sell yourself short by forgiving people without consequence. When choosing to forgive, put yourself and mental health before anything else. You deserve the best for you…life is too short to not put yourself first!!!

Have an amazing Tuesday!