Tuesday’s Love Jones – Fighting with Respect!


 

When it comes to relationships, conflict is inevitable. But it doesn’t have to be emotionally distressing or callous. Couples can disagree and, yes, even fight while still showing compassion and respect for each other. Relationships that can’t be saved are relationships where the flame has completely gone out, or it wasn’t there in the first place

Frequent heated and hurtful conflict is certainly not healthy or sustainable, either. You can have conflicts with your partner in a constructive way, and it may actually bring you closer together.

If you want to navigate conflict with your partner in a healthier and more productive way, keep these things in mind during your next argument:

~ Schedule a time for conflict

~ Call a timeout if you or your partner needs one

During an argument, it’s common for one or both partners to enter “fight, flight or freeze” mode, humans enter one of these modes when they think they may be in danger. “Fight or flight” refers to when stress hormones activate to give people more energy to either fight the stressor or run from the situation. And “freeze” mode occurs when a person simply does not react at all, in hopes that the stressor loses interest in the fight.

~ Make requests instead of complaints

Fights often start with the same two words: “You always.” Rather than asking their partner to do something they’d like them to do, like cleaning up around the house, people jump to make accusations.

~ Listen, and ask your partner for clarification

~ Learn the right way to apologize to your partner

Just as people have different love languages, we have different apology languages, too. It’s not enough to recognize that you’ve hurt your loved one and you owe them an apology: You have to know them enough to tailor your apology to their needs.

In closing, remember that when couples argue, we are not enemies. Even when we do not agree we are still on the same team!

Tuesday’s Love Jones – Aging Sensually!


If your sex drive has taken a dive recently, you’re not alone: it’s common to go through waves of low libido as we age, buy just because we’re aging does not mean we have to take this lying down (get it? Lying down?) Let’s try out some of these of methods of boosting your sex drive and you’re sure to feel like your old self in no time.

Get Your Vitamin C Fix
Taking in plenty of vitamin C is good for you. What you might not have known, though, is that it’s also great for your sex drive. It turns out stocking up on foods like oranges, kiwi, green peppers, guava, and strawberries can really get you in the mood. Studies show that women who have high intakes tend to have more and sex.

Have a Cup of Coffee
Coffee wakes you up, gives you energy, and boosts your sex drive! Caffeine tends to make you want to get it on and will even give you a better experience once you do. So grab a cup or two tomorrow morning and get it on before work.

Massage Oil
Did you know that applying topically to your nether regions to heat things up?

Drink Some Red Wine
Drinking red wine to help increase your sex drive sounds way too good to be true. But no, you’re not dreaming! Studies found that treating yourself to a moderate intake of the antioxidant-packed beverage could help increase sexual desire, lubrication, and overall sexual function.

Try Fenugreek
You might not know too much about Fenugreek. The medicinal herb is touted as a way to help lower blood sugar levels and increase breast milk production, but research literally found that by taking a daily supplement of the powerful plant could also play a role in increasing sexual arousal and desire.

Serve Up Some Watermelon
Eating watermelon is such a summer treat, but you might want to grab it year-round: Research found the fruit might have Viagra-like effects on the body, giving your libido a solid boost due to the compounds it contains.

 

Make Time for Intimacy
It might feel weird taking the time to schedule in your freaking in the sheets, but in these fast flighting days we need way more playtime in our lives, right? The Mayo Clinic says adding some time for intimacy can get your sex drive back on track. And, get with the times and make that cell phone work for you more by sending a calendar invite to your hubby with some eggplant emojis to give him something to look for.

Drink Pomegranate Juice
Aside from water, there’s one more important beverage to include in your diet—at least in terms of your sex drive: pomegranate juice. According to a recent study in Scotland, just one glass a day not only helped boost participants’ mood and memory, but it also increased the amount of testosterone in their bodies, in turn increasing their libido. And for more ways to boost your testosterone.

Be More Open and Transparent with Your Partner
Sitting down and talking about why your sex drive has taken a hit with your partner might feel uncomfortable, but it’s necessary…especially if you want to get back on track! The Mayo Clinic also says communicating in an open, honest way can help you “maintain a stronger emotional connection, which can lead to better sex.” I always tell the men that come to counseling with their wives – “Honesty can be one of the sexiest things to turn your woman on!”

Doctor Prescribed Clitoral Therapy
Did you know that your doctor could help you increase your sex drive with a simply prescription for a device that costs $250? According to Harvard University, the Eros Clitoral Therapy Device uses a gentle vacuum to increase genital flow to the area — and in clinical trials, women were super impressed: 90% felt more sensation in the area after using it, and 80% had increased sexual satisfaction.

Reading Sexy Lit
Books are the best sex toy. According to a medical sexologist, nothing promotes sexual behavior and satisfaction quite like reading a book. This approach, known as bibliotherapy, has the ability to heal patients through the reading of texts. Sexy texts, in this case.
In addition to the sexual benefits of reading, bibliotherapy also has general psychological perks. Research suggests that actively fantasizing releases chemicals like dopamine and testosterone, which promote happiness.

It’s better than adult films because most women can’t relate to watching a hairless, glistening model with a tiny waist and huge breasts. Writers of erotica generally omit physical details about the characters’ appearances. Instead, they focus on emotional relationships and situations. This makes it easier for female readers to insert themselves in the scenario.

Books are safe the meaningful relationship if you’re trying to repair your libido. Women can’t feel aroused if they are inhibited. Finding that right balance of familiarity and boundaries can be hard to do, but books make it easy. Anyone can pick up a book at their leisure and read it on their own time.

I just so happen to be giving 5 free copies of my own book to the first 5 readers of this blog. All you have to do is fill out the register below for a copy of The Balcony View Revisit by yours truly, Katrina Gurl. This books is filled with short sexy stories that will light your room of fire.

Apply Here…

Dating in the Comfort of Your Own Home – Tuesday’s Love Jones!


Okay Readers…

So, we are in the thick of fall and things are pretty chilly outside, right? I literally love this time of the year, but the hubby hates it…he can’t wait for summer to come back.

When the weather is not the way you’d like it to be things can become boring and mundane in the relationship, but allow this post to help you and your mate to help you get through it.

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Try some Stay at Home Dates…

RULES: NO FIGHTING, No talking about problems, JUST HAVE FUN!

~ Go on an appreciation dinner date. Before you take each bite of food or each sip from your drink, tell your spouse something you appreciate about him or her or something you appreciate that he or she has done recently or in the past.

~ Go on a virtual tour of museums online @ http://www.louvre.fr/en/visites-en-ligne

~ Listen to some old music you grew up with and chat about great memories.

~ Add a romantic twist to a board game. For example, with monopoly do something kinky to the other player when one lands in jail.

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~ Recreate scenes from your favorite movies.

~ Redesign your bedroom together by creating a romantic ambiance that you both agree on.

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~ Bake something together. The hubs and I make an AMAZING sweet potato pie over the holidays.

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~ Write a letter on paper to your partner

~ Play indoor tag. When you catch each other think of something fun you can do like kiss for 30 seconds, etc.

~ Read scriptures together….Song of Solomon is quite intriguing .

~ Have a shower or bathtub date together.

~ Pretend you are a fashion photographer and do a photo shoot of your spouse.

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~ Interview your spouse and write a biography about him or her.

~ Find a nearby FALL FAIR!!!!

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~ Play hide and go seek. Think of romantic rewards that you can give to your spouse when he or she finds you.

~ Make hot chocolate and watch the rain or snow together.

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~ Feed each other a meal.

~ Give each other foot massages.

~ Then plan your dream weekend getaway.

~ Take a long drive somewhere.

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These are just a few ideas for the season, but feel free to make some of your very own. Have an amazing Tuesday!!! ~ Kat 🙂

Tuesday’s Love Jones – 23 Years of Great Advice!


This past Saturday, May 23rd, to be exact….the hubs and me celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary.  As we celebrated the good times over the years, we thought about what advice that we would possibly share with for younger couples. There is no good reason to go through all the ups and downs that we both have faced without being some kind of light to younger couples.

Marriage is not all cupcakes and flowers, so how in the world did we get through 23 years?  For us, these 23 years have been filled with tears of joy, but also sorrow and filled with joy that has taken a lot of work. For us, falling in love back in high school 1988 and saying “I do” in 1992, was the easy part. Living happily ever after is the part that takes a whole lot of work.

Here are our collected words of wisdom below:

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    His Prom 1988

    Share everything with each other. Most importantly, everything you are feeling. There is no way to be on common ground if you don’t communicate how you’re feeling.

  • Whatever bad stuff happens, remember this, too, will pass.
  • Affection breeds more affection. Touch each other, kiss each other good morning, and have plenty of sex . It’s too easy to get out of the habit, which makes you feel distant. Intimacy and physical affection really help keep you connected.
  • Let the little things go and think big picture. Since you’re in it for the long haul, are you really going to care who did or didn’t run the dishwasher when you look back in 10 years? Remind yourself that your relationship is much, much bigger than any one minor incident.
  • Take time for yourself to do what you love, what makes you happy and gives you energy — being successful as a couple will only work if each of you is strong and fulfilled as an individual.
  • Avoid giving the silent treatment. Talk about things that bother you as soon as possible; don’t let your emotions build up, because you’ll likely explode.
  • Let go of hurts more easily, and try not to dwell on things that annoy you.
  • Don’t take each other for granted. You have to work at it all the time.

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    Summer 86′

  • Be spontaneous. Change things up every once in a while. Whether that means a last-minute vacation or a card for no special occasion. Grand gifts and the smallest gestures can go a long way when you’re with someone for a very long time.
  • Be nice! This can be harder than it seems sometimes, but remember that you (hopefully) love the person more than anyone else on the planet and you chose to marry them, so treat them with kindness.
  • Be patient. You both might grow together at different times and in different ways, so you need to give and take to make it last forever.
  • Celebrate when good things happen, and be expressive about it.
  • Tell them what you need. As much as you want them to, they can’t read minds. Tell them that you feel disconnected and that you want a day alone together or date night.
  • Surprise each other like you used to do when dating with special notes, small gifts, baking them a favorite recipe, or planning a weekend away. It lets the other person know you’re still in love with them, and it makes you feel the love, too.
  •  Build your partner up and support them to be all they can or want to be.
  • Take time to put yourself in your spouse’s shoes before judging. You want to avoid unnecessary criticism or negativity as much as you can.
  • Make each other laugh. Try not to take everything so seriously.
  • Be more generous with time and money. There is nothing worse than a spouse that rant a raves about every penny spent.
  • Don’t get defensive. Try to come at things from a place of love and kindness, and don’t assume you’re being attacked.
  • Trust and be trustworthy.
  • Try to always remember why you fell in love with your partner. Whether it was their sense of humor or ambition…always remind yourself.
  • Say “I love you,” and tell your partner they look attractive.
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For more tips pick up my book