Tuesday’s Love Jones – Fighting with Respect!


 

When it comes to relationships, conflict is inevitable. But it doesn’t have to be emotionally distressing or callous. Couples can disagree and, yes, even fight while still showing compassion and respect for each other. Relationships that can’t be saved are relationships where the flame has completely gone out, or it wasn’t there in the first place

Frequent heated and hurtful conflict is certainly not healthy or sustainable, either. You can have conflicts with your partner in a constructive way, and it may actually bring you closer together.

If you want to navigate conflict with your partner in a healthier and more productive way, keep these things in mind during your next argument:

~ Schedule a time for conflict

~ Call a timeout if you or your partner needs one

During an argument, it’s common for one or both partners to enter “fight, flight or freeze” mode, humans enter one of these modes when they think they may be in danger. “Fight or flight” refers to when stress hormones activate to give people more energy to either fight the stressor or run from the situation. And “freeze” mode occurs when a person simply does not react at all, in hopes that the stressor loses interest in the fight.

~ Make requests instead of complaints

Fights often start with the same two words: “You always.” Rather than asking their partner to do something they’d like them to do, like cleaning up around the house, people jump to make accusations.

~ Listen, and ask your partner for clarification

~ Learn the right way to apologize to your partner

Just as people have different love languages, we have different apology languages, too. It’s not enough to recognize that you’ve hurt your loved one and you owe them an apology: You have to know them enough to tailor your apology to their needs.

In closing, remember that when couples argue, we are not enemies. Even when we do not agree we are still on the same team!

TLj – Rapturous Bonds!


“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together.” ~Unknown

By now I’m sure that most of of us KNOW that there are no such things as perfect relationships, but however, there are perfect things we can do to make them feel that way.

Trust

Trust is crucial. Period. No ifs or buts. If you are in the relationship for the long term, you simply cannot afford to have trust issues. There is no room for doubt. You have to trust with a full heart that your partner loves you.

Quality Time

Quality time is essential. Do something fun together, do something meaningful, have meaningful conversations, pay attention to each other, and express your love like crazy.

Communication

When you communicate with your loved one, remember that love is the key. Speak from the heart. Have good intentions and be clear. Discuss problems in a loving manner. Practice effective active listening skills; do not interrupt the other person, listen and watch. Be mindful. Remain calm. Be respectful. Be loving.

Small Acts of Kindness

Small acts of kindness have always been a big part of of a good relationship. Small acts are vital. Whether it is a small gift, doing the dishes, or giving a hug, it shows your love and support. Send flowers, send an ecard, or leave a small note on the table. Bake cookies or make breakfast in bed. Give hugs and kisses for no reason other than to show your love.

Express Your Love

Love is always the foundation. It’s nearly obvious, but sometimes so obvious that couples tend to forget about it, and saying “I love you” becomes monotonous. But love is the basis and the reason of your relationship. So express your love through actions, words, and non-verbal communication. Don’t make “I love you” a routine, but instead always, and I do mean always, say it from the heart.

This is Kat’s call and have a rapturous Tuesday!!!

The Art of Talking to Your Spouse – Tuesday’s Love Jones!


The art of conversation, like any art, is a skill of elegance, intention and creative execution. And, we seem to have that skill all together right when we are truly interested in the newness of getting to know someone. But, fast-forward years ahead, after marriage…the skill to really talk to our partner or even want to fades.

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No boring conversation allowed…

Conversation is a form of communication and when you have good communication within the relationship there shouldn’t be much of a problem, right? Here’s what I have found to be part of the problem: Conversation is usually something that happens spontaneously, but with our mate it may feel very mundane or boring, lacking the excitement that it once had. I for one, have been married for 24 years, so I already know pretty much every response my hubs may have in any conversation we have.  Therefore, the feeling of routine sets in.

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So, how can one fix that…?

This is where focus needs to take place. The one thing that I suggest to do is to take a little time to bring up topics that your partner really likes to talk about. For instance, my husband loves the National Geographic channel, so I talk to him about things he likes. By doing this,  I get to learn something from him that I never knew before.

Good conversation will always leave you with learning something about a person and how special for that person to be your spouse.

Next step…

Be interesting and have something to say. Pick up a new hobby, read a book or become informed about current events. This year’s 2016 Olympics is something to keep up on. There is nothing wrong with doing or learning something exciting to share with your spouse that will over- all keep communicating fun, new and creative.

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Finally…

Here is a list of great convo starters for couples that have been together for a long time like my hubs and me. These are merely examples, but I think they are great starters for fun conversation in your relationship.

  • I used to always wish I could?
  • I wish I had learned to?
  • I like it best when you refer to me as?
  • My greatest need right now as a woman is to?
  • My greatest need right now as a man is to?
  • If I could have any super power, it would be?
  • If I could have lived during another time period, it would be?
  • If we read out loud together what book would you pick?
  • If you won an all expenses paid trip to Rio for the Olympics, would you risk your health for it?

Have an amazing Tuesday, folks!!!

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Get to know Kat here

44 Times Over – Tuesday’s Love Jones!


Okay, Okay!!!

Yes, it is waaaaay past my birthday, which was June 4th, but this is a tradition I have started here and I will not allow Katrina's 44th Bdayanything to stop that. Some people think I went into hiding (for what I have no idea), but the truth is that I was sick and had no desire to get on social media until God answered my prayers in healing my body. And, since my facebook had gotten hacked I simply decided to shut everything down.  God did heal me eventually, but it was such a task physically and emotionally.  Now that I am back on track with my health…this is the reason why this past birthday was so special to me.

No matter how much money you have, without good health, you may as well be the poorest person in the room!!!!

There is nothing like good health , so in this post I am urging folks (mostly women) to get regular checkups. A woman’s body is so complex that things could be going on in our bodies without even feeling symptoms until it is way too late. We women, are professional multitasking sheros with the emotional weight of our families literally on our shoulders and stress can sometimes be the biggest hidden factor of the illnesses that creep up on us.

When I finally decided to go to the doctor to see what the heck was wrong with me, the first thing my doctor issued was prescriptions that medicated the problem, but did little to really help. It actually made things worse with added side effects.

Long story short, I decided to take my health on a new path and began researching everything I could find about fibroids and the causes of continued bleeding. I soon was lead to homeopathic remedies and started learning about the benefits of juicing and smoothies. And yes I know…this is a story as old as time where people find new health through fruits, herbs and vegetables and trust and believe I was never really sold on any of that until I actually tried it myself.

For the first time in well over 5 months, my body was back on schedule without meds or dealing with chronic anemia. On a separate post I will share all the recipes I (with God’s help) created during the process of my healing!

Anyway, as far as my birthday this year…it was simply amazing! I seemed to have gotten gifts throughout the entire month of June and I know I am a loved woman. My Stockton family, husband and kids are my lifelines in all I do! I really appreciate how my husband was so patient and so understanding during my sickness. He was a pure example of what a man needs to be for his wife in sickness and health.

Now that God has healed me all up, I am starting my publishing company back to full force and I truly thank everyone for checking in on me and maybe even saying a silent prayer as well. Please forgive me for not may not returning calls or texts as I should have, but please know that I was in a dark place as far my health was concerned and I didn’t want to talk to anyone and that was just my lil odd way of handling things. However, through this happening, I got to clearly see whom real friends and family were.

Now here are the things I am 44 times over grateful:

  1. My husband, kids and nephew
  2. My mom and sisters
  3. My true friends
  4. The Bible
  5. The fact that God has everything on earth to heal our bodies and keep us healthy
  6. Morning coffee
  7. Sunny days in Bellingham
  8. My ability to write
  9. Making a woman smile (When a woman smiles, I feel as though God does the same)
  10. Plus size forever 21
  11. Great service at a restaurant
  12. When my life song comes on the radio every time I need it to (Make it Happen by Mariah Carey)
  13. Sexy heels that I can actually walk in
  14. When my husband calls me a hot chick
  15. Black coffee with my oldest son (He makes coffee seem magical)
  16. Red wine
  17. Talking to my favorite cousin (even at her worse she’s still the best)
  18. Word-find books
  19. Sewing a skirt
  20. Listening to my daughter share her love life to me like a best friend
  21. Getting a free surprise with my online orders
  22. Adore me (sexy plus size lingerie)
  23. Being a light to my children and nephew
  24. The Lion’s Room
  25. The Golden Girls
  26. Sex
  27. Hot Rod (the movie)
  28. Thank you notes (on Jimmy Fallon)
  29. My cell phone
  30. My debit cards
  31. Pop-Secret (Kettle Corn)
  32. My online store (www.fluffychic.com)
  33. Our new bed…it’s literally dreamy
  34. The Clark Sisters
  35. Smoothies
  36. My daughter’s homemade face cleanser
  37. My grand imagination
  38. The Riflemnn and Gun-Smoke
  39. The feeling of real love
  40. Being understood with few words
  41. Inside Jokes
  42. Carnations (Beautiful, yet cheap flowers)
  43. Looking in the mirror and saying to myself, “Not bad girlfriend…not bad at all!”
  44. Good health

Loving me