Tuesday’s Love Jones – Fighting with Respect!


 

When it comes to relationships, conflict is inevitable. But it doesn’t have to be emotionally distressing or callous. Couples can disagree and, yes, even fight while still showing compassion and respect for each other. Relationships that can’t be saved are relationships where the flame has completely gone out, or it wasn’t there in the first place

Frequent heated and hurtful conflict is certainly not healthy or sustainable, either. You can have conflicts with your partner in a constructive way, and it may actually bring you closer together.

If you want to navigate conflict with your partner in a healthier and more productive way, keep these things in mind during your next argument:

~ Schedule a time for conflict

~ Call a timeout if you or your partner needs one

During an argument, it’s common for one or both partners to enter “fight, flight or freeze” mode, humans enter one of these modes when they think they may be in danger. “Fight or flight” refers to when stress hormones activate to give people more energy to either fight the stressor or run from the situation. And “freeze” mode occurs when a person simply does not react at all, in hopes that the stressor loses interest in the fight.

~ Make requests instead of complaints

Fights often start with the same two words: “You always.” Rather than asking their partner to do something they’d like them to do, like cleaning up around the house, people jump to make accusations.

~ Listen, and ask your partner for clarification

~ Learn the right way to apologize to your partner

Just as people have different love languages, we have different apology languages, too. It’s not enough to recognize that you’ve hurt your loved one and you owe them an apology: You have to know them enough to tailor your apology to their needs.

In closing, remember that when couples argue, we are not enemies. Even when we do not agree we are still on the same team!

Tuesday’s Love Jones – Aging Sensually!


If your sex drive has taken a dive recently, you’re not alone: it’s common to go through waves of low libido as we age, buy just because we’re aging does not mean we have to take this lying down (get it? Lying down?) Let’s try out some of these of methods of boosting your sex drive and you’re sure to feel like your old self in no time.

Get Your Vitamin C Fix
Taking in plenty of vitamin C is good for you. What you might not have known, though, is that it’s also great for your sex drive. It turns out stocking up on foods like oranges, kiwi, green peppers, guava, and strawberries can really get you in the mood. Studies show that women who have high intakes tend to have more and sex.

Have a Cup of Coffee
Coffee wakes you up, gives you energy, and boosts your sex drive! Caffeine tends to make you want to get it on and will even give you a better experience once you do. So grab a cup or two tomorrow morning and get it on before work.

Massage Oil
Did you know that applying topically to your nether regions to heat things up?

Drink Some Red Wine
Drinking red wine to help increase your sex drive sounds way too good to be true. But no, you’re not dreaming! Studies found that treating yourself to a moderate intake of the antioxidant-packed beverage could help increase sexual desire, lubrication, and overall sexual function.

Try Fenugreek
You might not know too much about Fenugreek. The medicinal herb is touted as a way to help lower blood sugar levels and increase breast milk production, but research literally found that by taking a daily supplement of the powerful plant could also play a role in increasing sexual arousal and desire.

Serve Up Some Watermelon
Eating watermelon is such a summer treat, but you might want to grab it year-round: Research found the fruit might have Viagra-like effects on the body, giving your libido a solid boost due to the compounds it contains.

 

Make Time for Intimacy
It might feel weird taking the time to schedule in your freaking in the sheets, but in these fast flighting days we need way more playtime in our lives, right? The Mayo Clinic says adding some time for intimacy can get your sex drive back on track. And, get with the times and make that cell phone work for you more by sending a calendar invite to your hubby with some eggplant emojis to give him something to look for.

Drink Pomegranate Juice
Aside from water, there’s one more important beverage to include in your diet—at least in terms of your sex drive: pomegranate juice. According to a recent study in Scotland, just one glass a day not only helped boost participants’ mood and memory, but it also increased the amount of testosterone in their bodies, in turn increasing their libido. And for more ways to boost your testosterone.

Be More Open and Transparent with Your Partner
Sitting down and talking about why your sex drive has taken a hit with your partner might feel uncomfortable, but it’s necessary…especially if you want to get back on track! The Mayo Clinic also says communicating in an open, honest way can help you “maintain a stronger emotional connection, which can lead to better sex.” I always tell the men that come to counseling with their wives – “Honesty can be one of the sexiest things to turn your woman on!”

Doctor Prescribed Clitoral Therapy
Did you know that your doctor could help you increase your sex drive with a simply prescription for a device that costs $250? According to Harvard University, the Eros Clitoral Therapy Device uses a gentle vacuum to increase genital flow to the area — and in clinical trials, women were super impressed: 90% felt more sensation in the area after using it, and 80% had increased sexual satisfaction.

Reading Sexy Lit
Books are the best sex toy. According to a medical sexologist, nothing promotes sexual behavior and satisfaction quite like reading a book. This approach, known as bibliotherapy, has the ability to heal patients through the reading of texts. Sexy texts, in this case.
In addition to the sexual benefits of reading, bibliotherapy also has general psychological perks. Research suggests that actively fantasizing releases chemicals like dopamine and testosterone, which promote happiness.

It’s better than adult films because most women can’t relate to watching a hairless, glistening model with a tiny waist and huge breasts. Writers of erotica generally omit physical details about the characters’ appearances. Instead, they focus on emotional relationships and situations. This makes it easier for female readers to insert themselves in the scenario.

Books are safe the meaningful relationship if you’re trying to repair your libido. Women can’t feel aroused if they are inhibited. Finding that right balance of familiarity and boundaries can be hard to do, but books make it easy. Anyone can pick up a book at their leisure and read it on their own time.

I just so happen to be giving 5 free copies of my own book to the first 5 readers of this blog. All you have to do is fill out the register below for a copy of The Balcony View Revisit by yours truly, Katrina Gurl. This books is filled with short sexy stories that will light your room of fire.

Apply Here…

The Art of Talking to Your Spouse – Tuesday’s Love Jones!


The art of conversation, like any art, is a skill of elegance, intention and creative execution. And, we seem to have that skill all together right when we are truly interested in the newness of getting to know someone. But, fast-forward years ahead, after marriage…the skill to really talk to our partner or even want to fades.

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No boring conversation allowed…

Conversation is a form of communication and when you have good communication within the relationship there shouldn’t be much of a problem, right? Here’s what I have found to be part of the problem: Conversation is usually something that happens spontaneously, but with our mate it may feel very mundane or boring, lacking the excitement that it once had. I for one, have been married for 24 years, so I already know pretty much every response my hubs may have in any conversation we have.  Therefore, the feeling of routine sets in.

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So, how can one fix that…?

This is where focus needs to take place. The one thing that I suggest to do is to take a little time to bring up topics that your partner really likes to talk about. For instance, my husband loves the National Geographic channel, so I talk to him about things he likes. By doing this,  I get to learn something from him that I never knew before.

Good conversation will always leave you with learning something about a person and how special for that person to be your spouse.

Next step…

Be interesting and have something to say. Pick up a new hobby, read a book or become informed about current events. This year’s 2016 Olympics is something to keep up on. There is nothing wrong with doing or learning something exciting to share with your spouse that will over- all keep communicating fun, new and creative.

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Finally…

Here is a list of great convo starters for couples that have been together for a long time like my hubs and me. These are merely examples, but I think they are great starters for fun conversation in your relationship.

  • I used to always wish I could?
  • I wish I had learned to?
  • I like it best when you refer to me as?
  • My greatest need right now as a woman is to?
  • My greatest need right now as a man is to?
  • If I could have any super power, it would be?
  • If I could have lived during another time period, it would be?
  • If we read out loud together what book would you pick?
  • If you won an all expenses paid trip to Rio for the Olympics, would you risk your health for it?

Have an amazing Tuesday, folks!!!

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Get to know Kat here

Tuesday’s Love Jones – Who’s THIS Guy?


Brandy sings on subway and gets ignored

PawiiNews

First! In today’s news, Brandy broke into stage song on and NY Subway and NOBODY even noticed! You can watch the video here, but its really embarrassing from beginning to end. VIDEO but on another note….EVERYONE is talking about her today and any press is good for business, right?

Now back to Tuesday’s Love Jone July 17, 2015

Who’s THIS Guy? by Katrina Gurl

Isn’t that the question we ask to ourselves often when our partner does something you’d never thought he or she’s do when you Who’s THIS Guy? by Katrina Gurlfirst got married?

When you get married to a particular person, you have altered your relationship to that person and there are different expectations in marriage than when you were dating, for example, committing to a monogamous relationship and having children and raising them typically become priorities,  which require different skills and maturity than just dating. It would be weird if you didn’t change after you got married.

We often hear “You are not the person I married!” An accusation that things have changed for the worse and it makes us uncomfortable to recognize that our partner has changed and that we have changed right along with him.

But what can we do before things get out of hand?

Well, first things first…please, do not take your relationship for granted. Look at your partner with fresh eyes and try to grow with who they are today.  However, this is not to say to go along with anything disrespectful or anything that will compromise your morals.

All this means to it to literally find the positivity in the changes you may be seeing. Celebrate your new best friend and instead say: “Hello stranger. Fancy meeting you here, Love.”

Who’s THIS Guy? by Katrina GurlIf I may speak for myself, when my hubs and I were married we were ages 20 and 22, so needless to say, we were the very effervescent high school sweethearts. What a laugh that is, because there was nothing sweet about the beginning of our marriage. Anyway, long story short. I personally had a hard time separating the fact that my husband was no longer the kid I’d went to school with and into the new role he was taking on as a husband and father.

In our school days, he was so sweet and gave me everything I wanted even back then, but the changes he was making (to me) came off a bit harsh and insensitive at times. I’d often look at him and think, “Who’s this guy? And what the hell have I signed up for!”

Boy! If I’d only known then what I know now!

Looking back, I see that the man was just trying to be a good husband, father and provider and he totally had my best interest in mind, but his delivery is what made me feel as though he was drastically changing.

Of course we adjusted and continued to grow together and here are some things you can do to have a smoother relationship when it seems that your mate is changing…

  • Learn one another’s love languageWho’s THIS Guy? by Katrina Gurl

We tend to like to give love in the same way we like to receive love, but what may work for you may not even work for your mate, so try to deeply understand why makes your partner feel truly loved.

  • Meeting each other’s needs before your own

This literally means to think of your partner first in everything you do. I may seem mundane, but it you really love your mate it will come natural.

  • Do things together often

Have fun together and find as many ways as possible to do so. Your husband or wife is supposed to be the perfect representation of what a best friend should be and you should always find ways to make that happen.

I hope this post helps someone out there to have a HAPPY TUESDAY!!!

Hugs 🙂

~ Katrina