Dear Pawii Blogs,
I’ve fallen in love with a married man. We’ve had great times together and have even had sleepovers. He says that his wife has been cheating on him for years and now they are only together for the kids and financial conveniences.
A week ago he told me all of a sudden that he needed to take a leave of absence from work to stay home with his now ailing wife and that we couldn’t see each other anymore, because he owed his wife this time.
I haven’t told him yet that I see his wife often at my gym and she’s as healthy as a horse. I want to confront him face to face but I can’t imagine what would make him lie to this extent.
I will be very grateful to have some advice as to how to deal with this
Thanks a lot,
(Just call me girl interrupted)
The Coach says:
People have affairs for many different reasons, girl interrupted and to name a few…to escape from a bad relationship, an opportunity presents itself, a high sex drive, the thrill of excitement, and so on.
However, sometimes affairs are driven by love. People fall in love with someone who they love more than their spouse. Affairs driven by love, however, are usually anything but fun. They are full of stress, agony and regret.
But, please also be aware that some people actually thrive on cheating and manipulating others simply because they can. Some men people get a kick out of making other people fall in love, only to break their hearts. For them, love is a game, affairs are short-lived and full of lies and emotional manipulation.
If you are the victim of someone who is playing games with your heart, he has probably told you everything you wanted to hear, regardless of the truth.
And while such affairs are fun and exciting, they usually don’t last. People, who start these types of affairs, sweep their victims of their feet, but then they lose interest when their victims fall in love.
Unfortunately, your situation sounds more like someone playing games (i.e., “my wife cheats on me”) than someone who is genuinely in love with you. If he is truly in love with you, he would not have told you such lies. Plus, he has most likely started a new affair and is ridding himself of you because the amount of work it would take to hide 2 lovers from his wife.
And if he is playing games with you, confronting him will only make things worse. If you confront him, he’ll only tell you more lies leaving more confused than you are now.
While this may be hard to hear, it is probably best not to investment more time or energy in this situation. In the long run, very little is likely to come of it.
Sorry, girl interrupted! The only thing that needs interruption here is you from that sociopath. Please run quickly before real regret hits!!!
Also, I’d like to inbox you for a private session to understand better why you think it is okay to settle for a relationship like this. If that’s okay???
Thanks for allowing us to share your story here.
Hope this helps you and others to have an incisive Tuesday!
Today is a bittersweet day…this is the day we head back home from Hawaii! It was an amazing trip and I can’t wait to do an official post about the amazing sites, people and things to do on the island.
The main thing I will always remember of this place is the happiness, joy and love here. It was so nice to be in a place that showed hospitality everywhere we stepped our foot! Making friends here was effortless.
I love this quote…
“Aloha is the unconditional desire to promote the true good of other people in a friendly spirit out of a sense of kinship.” — Abraham Akaka –Rev. Akaka was Kahu (shepherd) of Kawaiahaʻo Church in Honolulu
May you also promote goodness and kinship wherever you are and have a happy Tuesday!
Even though “intimacy” has nothing to do with the act of sex…there is a certain arousal that takes place when a lover takes time to give you their personal attention with no expectations in return.
There are many things to do that will draw couples closer that is just as euphoric as sex…
OFFER TO HELP YOUR PARTNER WITH SOMETHING: Nothing is quite as sexy as a man that’s not afraid to help with the dishes or any other chores for that matter. Helping your partner with some random task gives you the two of you extra time together and shows you care. It’s amazing how close you feel when you wash and he dries.
PLAY TRUTH OR DARE: Add a bit of risk into the equation with some old school Truth or Dare. I know it might sound childish, but why should couples have to be mature 24/7? Sit down in the middle of the living room floor and have fun. You’ll be laughing and opening up in no time. If you play it right, one intimate thing might just lead into another.
FOCUS ON JUST MAKING OUT: Somewhere along the way, we’ve lost sight of just making out. Keep the clothes on and enjoy the thrill of kissing without expecting anything else. Going straight to the main course is so boring. Try something more innocent and see how connected you truly feel.
SHARE YOUR FANTASIES: I didn’t say other forms of intimacy had to exclude sex completely. How often have you wanted to role play? You don’t have to do them right this second, but it takes courage to open up and say what you’d love to try one day.
And, fantasies does not mean that your partner wants to experience wild thoughts with another person…it simply means it something that has crossed their minds and they’d really like to do them with you if you’re open minded enough.
DANCE TO YOUR FAVORITE SONGS: Want to see each other without the daily stress and just have fun? Dance to your favorite songs. Sit down together, make a playlist and dance like no one’s watching. You’ll laugh, forget about being self-conscious and open up to each other in a way you’ve probably never done before.
Intimacy happens off the bed sometimes. Give these a try and you’ll see exactly what I mean.
Have an intimant Tuesday
Certain Thirst by Katrina Gurl
Jessica and Ian hadn’t seen one another other in a while. Their long distance relationship made them very anxious to see one another. Jessica Peters, a 28 year old news anchor in New York and Ian Hunter, a 32 year old Chemical Engineer for Saco Industries, Connecticut. They only met up two times a month because of their hectic and busy lifestyles, but they were more than determined to make their relationship work; no matter what!
It was Jessica’s turn to drive down to see Ian this time, since he had driven to her the last two times. She figured she’d do the right thing by taking the two hour drive and since the whether wasn’t so bad, she didn’t even mind too much this time around. Jessica knew that their time together was limit, so she wanted everything to be perfect.
After the drive, she let herself into Ian’s place with the copy of keys Ian had mad for her. The first thing she noticed when she walked in the door is how Ian had left the carton of milk out on the table near a bowl of unfinished corn flakes. “Ian is SO messy!” she said aloud as she immediately began cleaning the kitchen and tidying up the house before he got home, which was in an hour. Jessica also lit a few candles to mask the bachelor scent Ian had all over the house. “Ummm, it finally smells like a lady is here.” Jessica thought to herself after she had finished up. Jessica then headed back out to the car to retrieve her bags. She wanted to shower before Ian got home, ready and waiting in the new lingerie she had bought especially for him.
Ian finally walks in the door…
Soon as Jessica seen him walk in (and without waiting for him to put his things down), jumped in his arms to meet him. He hugged her tightly as he took in a deep breath with a sigh of relief that she made it to him safe and sound. Ian scooped her in as if they could be any closer kissing her neck, cheek and finally her lips. They greeted each other like this each time the spent time together, because it always felt like an eternity since they’d seen one another.
“I have something for you sweetie, hope you like it” says Ian, then he pulls out two digital key chains. One had a picture of her and the other had a picture of him. He handed her the one with his picture on it and said, “I want you to have this with you at all times, so that you’ll know that I am always with, thinking about you, wanting you and needing you. It also has our song locked in it and I want you to listen to it whenever you miss me.” Then Ian pressed the tiny red button on the side of the keychain to show her the tune he installed. The song was “forever more” by Anthony David. When Jessica heard the song, she smiled, kissed him and said, “Oh baby, I love it…thank you!” They continued kissing near the front door as if time stood still a moment for them.
Jessica reluctantly backed away from his sweet kisses and said, “Okay, okay, go freshen up baby; I want you so bad right now! You were the first thing on my mind this morning…been almost tasting you ever since.” Ian pulled her back, not wanting to let her go. “You have?” He says, while still kissing her and continuing to say, “What were you thinking?” He whispered, pulling her closer to him and completely ignoring what she said about going to freshen up, because he just didn’t want to let her go. He just wanted to keep breathing her in.
Jessica always smelled so good to him. “Okay, I’ll go shower, just give me one more kiss and tell me what you were thinking this morning…was it nasty?” he says as he kissed her neck again. “You want to know the whole thing?” she asked, kissing his bottom lip. Ian closed his eye, tilting his head back a bit to tease Jessica in between her kisses as he answered her, “Yes baby, all of it.”
“Soon as I woke up this morning my thoughts were to urgently LOCK my legs around your waist, plunging you DEEP inside of me and while squeezing the walls of my wetness around the length of you, clenching my legs tight as I watch you struggled to pump deeper inside of me. These dirty little thoughts made me feel even more anxious to see you today, so I continued by imagining myself grasping even tighter onto you so that you could NOT escape from between my legs. In my vision, I was willing to fight to make this love session last to the bitter end.”
Ian interrupts Jessica, “Well damn, Jessica…all that before coffee?” Jessica places her index finger over the middle of his lips and softly says, “Shhhhh, you are the one that wanted to hear all of it!”
“The sound of your breath so close to my ear turned me on; making me desire you even more! Thoughts of sex like this with you in my mind was turning ghetto really fast, so you began to try even harder to pump into me deeper. In our struggle, my back hits against the wall and in a sexual stagger, you begin to carry me (with my legs still wrapped around you) to the nearest sofa. By doing this, you seemed to have gained a little control by finally being on top of me. During the shift, you didn’t bother flinching even though you clearly knocked over a lamp sitting on the end table. Then, this part is gonna trip you out!”
Ian interrupts again, “What could possible trip me out more than these nasty thoughts of yours…I had no idea you were such a freak!” Jessica goes on to say, “It was like I could actually hear you this morning say, Now I got you where I want you!”
“You have some imagination, but I love it…go on.” Ian wanted to hear more. This side of Jessica really turned him on.
“Okay, so anyway, as we were on the sofa, my legs released and I allowed you to take control of the situation. You began to slowly pull your manhood out of me, but only to the tip, then slowly re-entered deeper inside of me. You wanted me to feel every thrust of your hardness slowly pumping in and out of me. You did that a few times just to see the reaction on my face as I enjoyed the pure pleasure of you slowing things down a bit. Then all of a sudden, you pulled yourself out of me completely!”
Ian interjects, while totally engrossed in the story, “What the heck did I do that for?” Jessica could totally see the bulge in the front of Ian’s pants and just how much he was enjoying her secret thoughts of him, so she reassured by saying, “Settle down, keep listening, there’s a method to the madness.”
Then she goes on…
“You stood up in front of the sofa facing me and said, “You like that baby?” I answer you with a quick “yes” because I wanted more. When I gave you my answer, you gave me a command. You told me that If I wanted more, that i’d have to get on my knees and lick ALL of my honey off of your manhood. Of course in the heat of my certain thirst for more of you, I jumped up like a cadet in training and did just as you commanded; quickly, because I wanted you back inside of me!
“I proceeded to get right on my knees and worshiped you with my entire mouth. First I licked all my juice off of you with my tongue as if you were a lollipop, then I took in the length of you…in and out with licks in between as you watched me. To make sure that I was truly following your command, I backed away, looked up to you and said, “baby did I do it right?” You let out a breathy grunt. “Yes baby.” You then proceeded to get back on top of me, but this time on the floor alongside the coffee table.”
“After tasting you, I could not wait to feel you inside of me again. You started off by entering into me, then gaining speed slowly. I envisioned deep desirous thrusts becoming almost violent, so I spread my legs even wider to receive all of you. No sooner than I did that…I had my first explosion. You could feel my body weakening, but you just kept pumping. You said, “Girl, you gone pay for cumming so soon!” I was so weak from the orgasm you had just given me, that I no idea what you mean by that statement, nor did I care. I was still recovering.”
“You flipped me over effortlessly on my belly and entered me from the back. I squirmed to move forward since I was still tingling, but you held onto my butt firm and made sure you kept yourself deep within me, you continued to pump so hard that I actually felt your balls slightly brush against my clit. This sent shock waves all through my body. The feeling of you pumping deep inside of me while my clit was softly being touched caused me to have another orgasm.”
“Again?” you said in a voice like I was surely about to get what I deserve now! You pumped harder and faster. You took deep strokes from tip to base almost as the speed of light. I was so weak I could barely keep my knees up to receive you, but in your punishment mode you kept me right where you wanted me by holding on to my waist firm with your strong hands. You were in a zone and continue to pump harder, faster and harder until you came too. As you came you squeezed my butt. Wetness from the both of us ran rapidly down my legs and the more I thought of you this way, my heart began pumping as if I had just run a marathon. You pulled out of me to allow me to regain my strength and my breath and then I got ready to come see you. That’s all of it.”
Ian stood there kind of speechless; because he had no idea Jessica was so visually sensual. He had no idea she had such a strong desire for him even when he was nowhere around. Even though he was a bit overwhelmed, it was in a good way. Ian said, “I love the way you think of me and I think I will go take that shower now, so we can do the real thing.”
Written by Katrina Gurl for Steamy Trails Publishing.
This story was written as a tool for women to learn clever ways of telling
their men just what they want in bed, without destroying their egos!
Did you really think “Jessica” imagined all that? HELLS-TO-THE-NO!!! Jessica loves her man and wants to make sure (even in her need) that she puts the best interest of his heart first.
Sometimes, telling a man (some men, not all and depending on how confident he is)
that he is not quite pleasing in bed, may cause him to feel inadequate, but My Stiletto Dreams has solely been created to enhance relationships, build personal confidence and help couples enjoy their union.