Today’s post will be dedicated to my loving grandmother that recently passed. She was a great woman of God, 86 and a wonderful example of what Christianity is and should be. Rest in Heaven Grandma Lola Mae Celestine!!!
Hidden Crowns of Royalty
The sacrifice of prayer,
is what we all will remember her for,
But, Lola Mae Celestine
was so much more.
She was a confidant, mentor
and a vision of peace,
She was a true woman of God
Every day without cease.
Adjusting a hidden crown
With humility intact,
Her virtuous life
Went without lack.
Now so many of us
Can look and see,
By her example
What a true woman of God is to be.
When she entered a room
Her ambiance changed any place,
Because royalty had entered
By God’s precious grace.
When it came to Grandma Lola Mae,
And we’ll never forget after church dinners
Almost every Sunday.
She was a woman of honor
And our family’s gift,
She called us all name by name
In prayer to God she’d lift.
she stood courageously
In the gap through prayer for us.
Never any hesitations
Just an immediate must.
She’s cast down strongholds
And tore down walls,
On our behalf she waged spiritual war
And we’ve benefited from it all!
Her legacy is strong
And her life shinned bright,
This woman of God
Literally gave the good fight.
She lived a life of joy
And was even well taken care of by Joy,
When the day was complete
She’s finally in heaven’s seat
May we marvel at her time on earth
May we adopt her righteousness as our own,
May we celebrate her departure
May we rejoice that she is finally home.
“Thou shalt also be a crown of glory in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of thy God.”~ Isaiah 62:3
Written by Katrina Lola Gurl
Being married with a little crush is no big deal if you’re all grown up and here is why…
It shouldn’t be really surprising to learn that your partner may be attracted to someone else. Just because a person notices the opposite sex does not mean that it’s the end of your relationship. And heck, if you’re honest with yourself, you’ve probably checked out other people just within the last second ago or two. But, that by no means mean infidelity IF you are in a committed relationship.
In fact, new research from Indiana University finds that 70 percent of women in relationships admit to having crushes on other guys.
Yep, I’m talkin full-on crushes.
I mean the kind of crush where you blush, flirt and even become fully excited when a particular guy enters a room. Furthermore, in the study, women who had been in a relationship for at least 3 years answered open-ended questions about their crushes. And, this was a study amongst full grown seasoned adults, not college kids.
Crushes don’t just magically stop during adolescence either. They continue right on throughout our lives and it is natural. However, it is how we handle our crush is where the real love and respect for our significant others step in.
If your relationship is solid, a crush can be a passing fad. But, if your relationship is rocky it can become more really fast. For example: If I had a crush (and Lord knows I have), I usually snap out of it and realize I wouldn’t really want to break my marriage up for something that very well may fad. So, managing your feelings is key.
How to Handle the Fact that you are Crushing HARD…!!!
Remember that it’s natural!
Though you may think you’re the worst wife/girlfriend in the world for even thinking that someone else is funnier, cuter or sexier than your undisputed one true love, the truth is that you’re not evil, you’re just human. In fact, you’ve only succumbed to the same natural phenomenon as millions of other good, decent men and women.
Yes, I know those stomach butterflies are real…but it’s how you behave in the face of temptation that reveal your true character.
Look at the person you really are!
Ask yourself: Is this crush magnified because you are unhappy with your partner? A crush may reveal trouble in paradise or it may indicate that you’ve allowed too much emotional distance within your relationship. Spend less time thinking about that cute guy at work and more quality time with your partner and make sure it’s time spent laughing, talking, and confiding in one another.
Are you just lonely?
Keep your crush to yourself, but if you’re feeling lonely or undesirable or just missing some affection from your significant other, that’s information your partner should know. It isn’t necessary for our partner to know about the content of our fantasies, nor that we are even having them, but rather to be engaged in a discussion with them about what we are needing or missing in the relationship and how we can get it from them, in order that the two of us feel closer again.
Remember, your relationship is worth the fight!
Studies show that couples that grow together, stay together. So keep the love alive by continually experiencing new places, ideas and experiences with your partner. Draw your beloved closer and decide to take on the world…with all of its temptations, joys, sorrows and struggles…TOGETHER.
Establishing relationship goals does not have to be a complicated situation. The simpler and more straightforward the goals are, the better. The key is to just do things daily that will make a big difference.
Becoming a better partner to your mate is certainly doable and achievable. And, please DO NOT begin this process by setting goals for your partner! Focus on establishing your own goals!!! When you both set personal goals you BOTH WIN!!! Similar to your career or fitness goals, your relationship can plateau if you don’t give it your full attention.
Consider what your relationship needs and start there. However, the moment you figure out goals you wish to set…start with yourself to make the change.
When you and your partner work together to create goals that improve or maintain the health of your relationship, you also create an atmosphere of pure love and companionship. “I suggest couples both write down three goals on their own and then share them with each other, explaining why each goal is important to them. This can lead to some good conversations about the satisfaction and fulfillment in the relationship too.”
Try not to be critical of your partner’s needs.
Ask questions if you don’t understand his or her request.
Try not to take it personally if they need something that you aren’t giving them.
Writing the goals down will help you and your partner remain focused and these written goals can also act as the antidote to the lethargic tendencies that can creep into any marriage over time. This list is by no means meant to be long and drawn out. Just reflect on the areas of your relationship that you’d like to improve. Period.
For instance, when my hubs and me did this in our own relationship, one of the things he wanted me to do is call him more while he’s away on the road. I was glad we talked about it, because I truly never knew that bothered him. I’m a publisher and I spend a lot of time on the phone anyway, so I guess I do lack to call him in a run of a week. Him bringing this to my attention, made me eager to change on that.
#RelationshipGoals-Where to begin…
First, pick an area of your relationship that you’d like to work on!
Communication your goals: State your needs directly!
Show compassion in support goals!
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable…say what you need!
Just commit! Being in a committed relationship means learning to compromise. Taking steps to appreciate your partner’s viewpoint sends the message that you take your partner’s needs seriously.
Take time with your partner. Demonstrate that your relationship is a top priority in your life.
One More Thing:
If at all possible, never waiver date night. Life can be busy and relationships can sometimes feel mundane. It’s important to do fun and romantic things together on a weekly basis. Date night can be something to look forward to throughout the week.
Research shows that couples who have sex two or more times a week are more satisfied in their relationships. The week can go by fast, so try putting reminders in your phone but don’t tell your partner and then surprise them by initiating sex.
And above all, your relationship may look different from the rest of the world, and that’s okay. It’s your relationship and it needs to work for you, not everyone else.
The art of conversation, like any art, is a skill of elegance, intention and creative execution. And, we seem to have that skill all together right when we are truly interested in the newness of getting to know someone. But, fast-forward years ahead, after marriage…the skill to really talk to our partner or even want to fades.
No boring conversation allowed…
Conversation is a form of communication and when you have good communication within the relationship there shouldn’t be much of a problem, right? Here’s what I have found to be part of the problem: Conversation is usually something that happens spontaneously, but with our mate it may feel very mundane or boring, lacking the excitement that it once had. I for one, have been married for 24 years, so I already know pretty much every response my hubs may have in any conversation we have. Therefore, the feeling of routine sets in.
So, how can one fix that…?
This is where focus needs to take place. The one thing that I suggest to do is to take a little time to bring up topics that your partner really likes to talk about. For instance, my husband loves the National Geographic channel, so I talk to him about things he likes. By doing this, I get to learn something from him that I never knew before.
Good conversation will always leave you with learning something about a person and how special for that person to be your spouse.
Be interesting and have something to say. Pick up a new hobby, read a book or become informed about current events. This year’s 2016 Olympics is something to keep up on. There is nothing wrong with doing or learning something exciting to share with your spouse that will over- all keep communicating fun, new and creative.
Here is a list of great convo starters for couples that have been together for a long time like my hubs and me. These are merely examples, but I think they are great starters for fun conversation in your relationship.
I used to always wish I could?
I wish I had learned to?
I like it best when you refer to me as?
My greatest need right now as a woman is to?
My greatest need right now as a man is to?
If I could have any super power, it would be?
If I could have lived during another time period, it would be?
If we read out loud together what book would you pick?
If you won an all expenses paid trip to Rio for the Olympics, would you risk your health for it?