Tuesday’s Love Jones – Fighting with Respect!


 

When it comes to relationships, conflict is inevitable. But it doesn’t have to be emotionally distressing or callous. Couples can disagree and, yes, even fight while still showing compassion and respect for each other. Relationships that can’t be saved are relationships where the flame has completely gone out, or it wasn’t there in the first place

Frequent heated and hurtful conflict is certainly not healthy or sustainable, either. You can have conflicts with your partner in a constructive way, and it may actually bring you closer together.

If you want to navigate conflict with your partner in a healthier and more productive way, keep these things in mind during your next argument:

~ Schedule a time for conflict

~ Call a timeout if you or your partner needs one

During an argument, it’s common for one or both partners to enter “fight, flight or freeze” mode, humans enter one of these modes when they think they may be in danger. “Fight or flight” refers to when stress hormones activate to give people more energy to either fight the stressor or run from the situation. And “freeze” mode occurs when a person simply does not react at all, in hopes that the stressor loses interest in the fight.

~ Make requests instead of complaints

Fights often start with the same two words: “You always.” Rather than asking their partner to do something they’d like them to do, like cleaning up around the house, people jump to make accusations.

~ Listen, and ask your partner for clarification

~ Learn the right way to apologize to your partner

Just as people have different love languages, we have different apology languages, too. It’s not enough to recognize that you’ve hurt your loved one and you owe them an apology: You have to know them enough to tailor your apology to their needs.

In closing, remember that when couples argue, we are not enemies. Even when we do not agree we are still on the same team!

Tuesday’s Love Jones – Aging Sensually!


If your sex drive has taken a dive recently, you’re not alone: it’s common to go through waves of low libido as we age, buy just because we’re aging does not mean we have to take this lying down (get it? Lying down?) Let’s try out some of these of methods of boosting your sex drive and you’re sure to feel like your old self in no time.

Get Your Vitamin C Fix
Taking in plenty of vitamin C is good for you. What you might not have known, though, is that it’s also great for your sex drive. It turns out stocking up on foods like oranges, kiwi, green peppers, guava, and strawberries can really get you in the mood. Studies show that women who have high intakes tend to have more and sex.

Have a Cup of Coffee
Coffee wakes you up, gives you energy, and boosts your sex drive! Caffeine tends to make you want to get it on and will even give you a better experience once you do. So grab a cup or two tomorrow morning and get it on before work.

Massage Oil
Did you know that applying topically to your nether regions to heat things up?

Drink Some Red Wine
Drinking red wine to help increase your sex drive sounds way too good to be true. But no, you’re not dreaming! Studies found that treating yourself to a moderate intake of the antioxidant-packed beverage could help increase sexual desire, lubrication, and overall sexual function.

Try Fenugreek
You might not know too much about Fenugreek. The medicinal herb is touted as a way to help lower blood sugar levels and increase breast milk production, but research literally found that by taking a daily supplement of the powerful plant could also play a role in increasing sexual arousal and desire.

Serve Up Some Watermelon
Eating watermelon is such a summer treat, but you might want to grab it year-round: Research found the fruit might have Viagra-like effects on the body, giving your libido a solid boost due to the compounds it contains.

 

Make Time for Intimacy
It might feel weird taking the time to schedule in your freaking in the sheets, but in these fast flighting days we need way more playtime in our lives, right? The Mayo Clinic says adding some time for intimacy can get your sex drive back on track. And, get with the times and make that cell phone work for you more by sending a calendar invite to your hubby with some eggplant emojis to give him something to look for.

Drink Pomegranate Juice
Aside from water, there’s one more important beverage to include in your diet—at least in terms of your sex drive: pomegranate juice. According to a recent study in Scotland, just one glass a day not only helped boost participants’ mood and memory, but it also increased the amount of testosterone in their bodies, in turn increasing their libido. And for more ways to boost your testosterone.

Be More Open and Transparent with Your Partner
Sitting down and talking about why your sex drive has taken a hit with your partner might feel uncomfortable, but it’s necessary…especially if you want to get back on track! The Mayo Clinic also says communicating in an open, honest way can help you “maintain a stronger emotional connection, which can lead to better sex.” I always tell the men that come to counseling with their wives – “Honesty can be one of the sexiest things to turn your woman on!”

Doctor Prescribed Clitoral Therapy
Did you know that your doctor could help you increase your sex drive with a simply prescription for a device that costs $250? According to Harvard University, the Eros Clitoral Therapy Device uses a gentle vacuum to increase genital flow to the area — and in clinical trials, women were super impressed: 90% felt more sensation in the area after using it, and 80% had increased sexual satisfaction.

Reading Sexy Lit
Books are the best sex toy. According to a medical sexologist, nothing promotes sexual behavior and satisfaction quite like reading a book. This approach, known as bibliotherapy, has the ability to heal patients through the reading of texts. Sexy texts, in this case.
In addition to the sexual benefits of reading, bibliotherapy also has general psychological perks. Research suggests that actively fantasizing releases chemicals like dopamine and testosterone, which promote happiness.

It’s better than adult films because most women can’t relate to watching a hairless, glistening model with a tiny waist and huge breasts. Writers of erotica generally omit physical details about the characters’ appearances. Instead, they focus on emotional relationships and situations. This makes it easier for female readers to insert themselves in the scenario.

Books are safe the meaningful relationship if you’re trying to repair your libido. Women can’t feel aroused if they are inhibited. Finding that right balance of familiarity and boundaries can be hard to do, but books make it easy. Anyone can pick up a book at their leisure and read it on their own time.

I just so happen to be giving 5 free copies of my own book to the first 5 readers of this blog. All you have to do is fill out the register below for a copy of The Balcony View Revisit by yours truly, Katrina Gurl. This books is filled with short sexy stories that will light your room of fire.

Apply Here…

Tuesday’s Love Jones – A Piggyback Post!


The other day my fellow blogger (Xavier Young) posted an amazing topic that got my attention. The name of the post was “How do women liked to be SPOILED??” It’s a pretty simple question, but depending on the woman you ask, there can be a countless variations of responses. The women that did answer over on his post came up with so many views that helped me to realize the language of love means so many different things to each individual. Feel free to drop by his blog to see all the amazing responses at: LOVE IS CONFUSING!

HERE’S HOW I NEED TO BE SPOILED…

RESPECT: Respect is the most important building block in a relationship. Respect is a pattern of behavior that is found in healthy relationships. You have to give respect in order to get it and each partner deserves it.

HONESTY: To deepen the bond with your partner and stay more connected to each other you need to be totally honest. The more committed you are, the more loving the relationship. For me, honesty is a turn on. When someone is comfortable enough with themselves to be honest, it makes to want to give more of myself to the person I’m with whether that be physically or emotionally.

TRANSPARENTCY: People think that transparency is the same as honesty and here’s how they differ: Transparency is a way of relating to your partner in which you reveal your inner self, your true experience. That means exposing your vulnerabilities and fears, as well as your desires and points of view about whatever issues you’re discussing. Honesty is an individual practice a person chooses to live by.

TRUST: It is trust that allows us to navigate the uncertain and complex world we live in today. With the rise of the internet, mobile phones, email, chat and social media, it is so much easier for people to connect or spend more time others without your partner even knowing. Trust to me is being able to set my watch to what I know my mate will do in certain situations. Without even having a second thought, I want…no I need to know that I can trust my man in my presence or out.

and LUST: In a prior PAWII post, we had come to realize that lust is an emotion or feeling of intense desire in the body also an uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite. READ POST HERE

Within the marriage, there isn’t a problem with lust toward our spouses, because we are supposed to feel a strong sexual desire towards them, right?  It’s perfectly normal to lust your spouse during sex, but it is also something that one should practice 24/7 and that’s just another way I need to be spoiled!!!

In closing, I have enjoyed answering the question of my fellow blogger’s amazing post and can’t wait to see what he comes up with next.

 

Tuesday’s Love Jones – My ‘Work Husband’ Is Messing Up My Marriage!


It may be innocent but then again, you may accidentally fall in love.

At what point is your relationship with your work spouse a threat to your actual marriage or relationship? This is an important question to ask yourself if you want to keep trust and connection strong with your romantic partner or spouse, right? There IS such a thing as an emotional affair. It is potentially just as destructive as a sexual affair. The tricky thing about an emotional affair is that you may be in one and not even realize it.

A few signs of an emotional affair are:

  • Secrets about what you said or did with the other person
  • a stronger emotional bond than the love relationship or marriage
  • a preference for the friend instead of the partner and
  • feelings of sexual attraction underlying the friendship

The work spouse relationship is one unfortunate way to set yourself up for an emotional affair without meaning to.

And, here are a few reasons why:

Confusion…
Most of us have pretty clear expectations of what it is to be a wife or husband and that almost always includes sexual intimacy. When you call someone your work husband or work wife, you send mixed messages about what you’re looking for in what would otherwise be a professional relationship.

Temptation…
Confusion about what it means to be a “work couple” can very easily lead to one (or both) of you crossing the boundary between friendship and romantic relationship.

Disconnection…
The implication in a relationship like this is that you are gravitating toward this person you work with instead of toward your actual spouse or romantic partner. When you devote time, attention and energy to your work spouse, the results are disconnection and distance in your love relationship or marriage.

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Jealousies…
The confidences you share with your work husband or the way you’ve come to depend on your work wife/husband will inevitably trigger jealousy. Trust gets damaged in the process and that can take a very long time to heal.

Distraction…
Think about it this way: what happens when you have two pots of soup on the stove and you’re trying to stir and add spices to them both at the same time? Maybe you can care for them both equally, but it’s likely that you’ll neglect one in favor of the other. The soup you focus less of your attention on is probably going to burn.

In Closing…

If you’ve elected to be in a monogamous relationship, it’s up to you to choose. Which relationship is most important to you??? If it’s your relationship with your spouse or romantic partner, then that’s the one you should focus upon the most.

I am so NOT saying that you can’t make friends with or share fun and meaningful experiences with your co-workers, but I am reminding you to be honest with yourself. When you feel dissatisfied at home, get to the root of that dissatisfaction. Look for what’s causing you to feel the way you do and then communicate with your partner — without blaming — and come up with solutions that help you both feel fulfilled and excited by the continued growth in your relationship.