Hi I. B. – Here Is My Honest Opinion!

Dear Katrina,

I’ve been in a relationship for 8 years, but here is my problem:

KitKatCoaching to guys

I have opened my own fast food joint and although financial issues are still occurring because of the new business, I am trying my best and working hard to make it a success.

My girlfriend, on the other hand wants to go on a sabbatical after reading your post. THANKS!!! I don’t agree with it at all because on one hand it might work, but what if it doesn’t?

Deep down inside, I know she wants to settle down and get married, but with the new business and my financial issues, I just don’t see it fair to both of us to start a marriage on a bad financial note.

I love this woman deeply and am loyal to her only, but recently I caught her lying to me. She has started behaving in a weird manner, chatting with male friends for hours while keeping me on the sideline. I feel our love is fading. I am not very successful yet, but I am trying my best and I DO NOT want to lose her!

Katrina, I need some advice, because I don’t know what to do and for me a sabbatical is not the answer.


Hi (I will call you I. B.)!

Thanks for writing in…my advice gives you LOTS to think about…


First of all, the age you two are may play a big part in my advice. If you two are between the ages of 20-35 then you should consider the sabbatical. The way I see it, youth plays a big part in wanting to explore other relationships and letting her go now may be a plus for you in the long run.

If this woman is lying and disrespecting you by talking to other men, that alone is a great reason to move on.  However, if you are putting 100% into the business and giving no time to her, she may be looking ahead and realizing the fact that if you can so easily disregard her obvious emotional needs while you are building the business then maybe a sabbatical to see what she wants is good for her in the long run.

If you are both between the ages of 35 and beyond, I would say for you both to get serious about what you two may want to do with your relationship. Finding love in this day and age is like trying to find a real pair of Louboutin’s at a flee market, so if you love her don’t let her go!

Your girlfriend has already proven a wayward eye, so this means trust issues are in the relationship whether you guys stay together or not. Are you willing to work through that, is the question.

If you two decide to stay together…make her feel as if you are taking her love seriously by setting  realistic goals about marriage if that is what you want in the future.  Wise up and understand that she perhaps is talking to other men right in your face to just get your attention.

After you really think about this and perhaps take my advice…let me know if she still will even want that sabbatical.  Sounds to me that that’s not really what she wants…sounds like what she wants most of all is you 100%.

Kudos to you by the way for starting your own business…that takes gut, so keep up the great work and keep me posted with your situation.

~ Kat 🙂

Zero Smashing for 90 days…wait what??? Terry Crews!

This week Terry Crews announces that he and his wife have gone 90 days without sex? Yes, Terry Crews. He says the sexual fast  made him feel more in love.

“I found that at the end of that 90 days … I knew who she was, and it wasn’t about ‘Let’s go out because I know I’m gonna get some sex later.’ It was like, ‘Let’s go because I want to talk to you. I want to know you’,” he said. Crews also made an enlightening comment on how men view intimacy.

But, I don’t think he speaks for all…not even most men when it comes to his views. I would really love to hear from men followers of this blog on this topic. Could you really go 90 days without sex to perhaps feel closer to your mate?

Watch a clip from the interview, below:

My Take and reasons why this is not a good idea…A Lack of Sex Can Affect Emotional and Mental Health

  • Sex is good for your heart, cutting your risk of heart attack and stroke in half when performed three times a week.
  • Sex is good for folks that suffering from headache or back pain too.  Moments before reaching orgasm, levels of the hormone Oxycontin surge, releasing pain-relieving endorphins, easing your aches and pains naturally.
  • Sex boosts your immune system and by having sex twice a week, it can increase the immune boosting antibody  immunoglobulin by 30 percent.
  •  Quickies burn Calories and can effectively contribute to your workout, helping you maintain or even lose weight. READ MORE!

Maxi, Maxi, Maxi – Tuesday’s Love Jones!

Maxi writes in telling me that she’s started a new job and was instantly attracted to a colleague. She says, over the past 3 months her and this college have had to work closely together and that the sexual tension is crazy.


Maxi shares that she can’t even remember the last time that she’s felt such intense physical attraction with anyone…including with her husband. Jerry (the co-worker), is married also and as the days go by the tension is rising. His flirting is incessantly and if I’m truthful, she says, she  loves every minute of it. He is tall and incredibly attractive. So far, she handles this outwardly by being totally professional all the time, but on the inside she says she is  always tense, full of energy and daydream of how it would feel to be romantically involved with him.

What should I do?

~ Max

In my professional opinion, there are some questions that I need you to ask yourself way before I tell you that you need to get a grip!

1). Do you love your husband?

2). How important is your marriage?

3). What are you missing in your life that you are entertaining this tomfoolery?

Here’s the off the record deal, Maxi! First off, this Jerry guy most likely flirts with every new female employee in the office and you may even notice that the longer your work there.

You, my friend, just so happen to be the new meat in the office.

office-romance-640x431The one thing that this Jerry has already shown you is that he does not respect marriage and you most defiantly should never fall for a guy with such standards. Another thing, he flirts with you because you allow him to. Most men know how to seek out the women that will give them the time of day.

And, as far as the “what should you do question” …well, that is solely up to you. If you think losing or harming your marriage is worth it; by all means carry on. But, if there is a mere chance that you honor your husband, you should begin letting this Jerry know that you are not interested in 100% of your actions.

I’d say that you should use this as fuel to seek what may be wrong in your marriage and work on how to feel that same passion with your own man.  Let this be an eye opening experience and not one that will keep you blind to the true harm this will bring.

If I may play devil’s advocate? Say you and this Jerry do have an office fling. What do you think will come next? Do you think this Jerry will become the love of your life and you two will ride into some sunset? Nah, more than likely, all it will do is cause you to feel guilty, used and uncomfortable every day after the fling at work.

Now, I never like to answer a question with another question, but Maxi…what WILL you do?


Have a prosperous Tuesday, Maxi!

~ Kat 🙂

Tuesday’s Love Jones – Get A New Life Instead!

Losing the love of our life is shattering and shattering is such a fitting word, because the very earth underneath us feelsHow-To-Break-Up-With-Your-Boyfriend shaky and un-loyal with each step we try to take forward.

Love can feel like such a lottery…a lottery that wasn’t such a great scratch off at that.  However, even if they do that doesn’t guarantee success; we should still love with full hearts. As I often repeat to clients that if we are lucky enough, and it is luck, that we meet our ‘soul mate’, which is rare, it is winning the lottery.

As we get older our relationship needs change. If we have loved and lost our ‘first true love’ we need a time of reflection and time to heal. When we meet someone else please give them, and yourself, time.

Those of us who have loved and lost are told to ‘move on’. Yes, we must do just that, but it takes time and a lot of healing. We are brought up with the belief, and are told repeatedly, that there is the one special person out there for us. If we believe we had found them and then lost them what does that make of all the assurances we were given?

For many of us, we have one true love in our lives, though we don’t necessarily end up with them. However, to our detriment we keep looking back picturing an idyllic life full of love with the person who in the end married someone else.  If you continue to look back with bitterness you will never find true love and contentment, only increasing personal sadness.

alone-couple-girl-lake-love-sad-Favim.com-492101I tell my clients: ‘If you have lost the ‘so called’ love of your life…GO GET A NEW LIFE!”

5 cool ways to use a bad break up to win in life:

Classy/Sexy: The initial stages. Think to yourself: How would Michelle Obama deal with a breakup? Breakups get messy. You don’t need to get even. You also don’t need to act crazy trying to win him back. He didn’t deserve you in the first place. Class is something you can’t pay for in school – but is respected by a man who will treat you right. You want to attract a class act? Keep calm and stay classy!

Stay Focused: A re-focus strategy. A relationship can alter what’s important to you. Make yourself the priority. Now that you have time, think about what you’ve accomplished for YOURSELF during the relationship.

Get Out More: Quit being depressed! Staying locked away from the world is a sign of weakness. Life will go on as soon asbreak-up2 you allow it to. Stay active! This may sound corny, but signing up for a gym membership was the best thing! Put on some cute spandex and go for a run. A gym is a great way to meet new people. You can also work off all that ice cream you’ve been eating!

Practice Flirting: Re-learning the ropes. After being in a committed relationship, you forget how to flirt. Loosen up (but not too loose!) Casual conversations and light human interaction can lead to anything; even if it’s just a new friend. Flirting is meant to be fun. It will also boost your ego and mentally prepare you to get back in the ring of love. Don’t ignore the hot Starbucks guy when he’s clearly smiling at your beautiful face. Smile back. Ask him how his day is going. You might even get a free coffee!

Define You: Before you allow someone new in your life. What do you love about yourself? Have you ever stopped to think about that? Why should someone fall in love with you? Often we are on a quest to find someone who can fulfill our needs. But how can you receive if you are unable to give? Don’t let a previous breakup mess up a future relationship. Do you want honesty, loyalty and forgiveness? In order to obtain these qualities in another person, you must be these qualities yourself. Figure out what you need to work on, so when the time comes, you can give and receive love.