Dear Pawii Blogs,
I’ve fallen in love with a married man. We’ve had great times together and have even had sleepovers. He says that his wife has been cheating on him for years and now they are only together for the kids and financial conveniences.
A week ago he told me all of a sudden that he needed to take a leave of absence from work to stay home with his now ailing wife and that we couldn’t see each other anymore, because he owed his wife this time.
I haven’t told him yet that I see his wife often at my gym and she’s as healthy as a horse. I want to confront him face to face but I can’t imagine what would make him lie to this extent.
I will be very grateful to have some advice as to how to deal with this
Thanks a lot,
(Just call me girl interrupted)
The Coach says:
People have affairs for many different reasons, girl interrupted and to name a few…to escape from a bad relationship, an opportunity presents itself, a high sex drive, the thrill of excitement, and so on.
However, sometimes affairs are driven by love. People fall in love with someone who they love more than their spouse. Affairs driven by love, however, are usually anything but fun. They are full of stress, agony and regret.
But, please also be aware that some people actually thrive on cheating and manipulating others simply because they can. Some men people get a kick out of making other people fall in love, only to break their hearts. For them, love is a game, affairs are short-lived and full of lies and emotional manipulation.
If you are the victim of someone who is playing games with your heart, he has probably told you everything you wanted to hear, regardless of the truth.
And while such affairs are fun and exciting, they usually don’t last. People, who start these types of affairs, sweep their victims of their feet, but then they lose interest when their victims fall in love.
Unfortunately, your situation sounds more like someone playing games (i.e., “my wife cheats on me”) than someone who is genuinely in love with you. If he is truly in love with you, he would not have told you such lies. Plus, he has most likely started a new affair and is ridding himself of you because the amount of work it would take to hide 2 lovers from his wife.
And if he is playing games with you, confronting him will only make things worse. If you confront him, he’ll only tell you more lies leaving more confused than you are now.
While this may be hard to hear, it is probably best not to investment more time or energy in this situation. In the long run, very little is likely to come of it.
Sorry, girl interrupted! The only thing that needs interruption here is you from that sociopath. Please run quickly before real regret hits!!!
Also, I’d like to inbox you for a private session to understand better why you think it is okay to settle for a relationship like this. If that’s okay???
Thanks for allowing us to share your story here.
Hope this helps you and others to have an incisive Tuesday!