HUSBAND: “Babe, I know I lied and betrayed you a few times. And, I’m sorry. But I’ve changed and didn’t you say you forgave me?”
WIFE: “Why, sure I forgive you! Forgiving you was for my sanity and peace, but just because I have made a choice to forgive DOES NOT MEAN I TRUST YOU!!!”
QUOTE: Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this. Men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
~ Robert Jordan
Marriage Counselor: “Let me explain the differnce of forgiveness verses trust in this week’s post! Clear your personal thoughts on what you see to be true and learn a new outlook. Forgiveness is letting go of the past and trust is deciding a course for the future. Forgiveness is for your benefit. It releases you, but trust benefits the other person.”
The person who hurt you can try to do all kinds of things to compensate their wrong doings, but they can’t retract acts of betrayal no more than a time travel machine can cause us to unmake mistakes. The person my try to heal the damage, but after the damage is done, your personal choice to forgive is a free gift of grace that you choose to extend. Forgiveness can never be earned…it has to be given.
Trust, on the other hand is always earned. If you don’t make someone earn your trust after they have been forgiven…you may find yourself being treated like a doormat to say the least. Earning trust after a betrayal is necessary. Ya see, you can go back and forth, arguing about the betrayal, but until trust is earned that’s all that will happen….tit for tats and no growing in the relationship.
When you forgive someone, you can either start to love them again or you can forgive and let them go. It’s one or the other, but never both. Always remember that forgiveness is not excusing or condoning their actions. Forgiveness is personal closure.
In closing, never sell your peace of mind by not forgiving people, but never sell yourself short by forgiving people without consequence. When choosing to forgive, put yourself and mental health before anything else. You deserve the best for you…life is too short to not put yourself first!!!
Have an amazing Tuesday!