Tuesday’s Love Jones – Don’t Ask…Don’t Tell!


Don't Ask...Don't TellWhat you don’t know wont hurt you is the famous saying when it comes to keeping secrets, but should that type of thinking be okay when it comes to marriage/relationships?

Are you feeling guilty about a past elicit affair?

Or have you done something you regret?

If you are a normal person, typically, feelings of shame and guilt are followed after YOU KNOW you’ve done something against your relationship that you know a significant other will NOT approve of.

But the real question is: should you spill the beans on cheating?  Wendy Williams seems to have her own twist on this, so check out the vid below and share your thoughts.

Everyone makes mistakes from time to time, but the “Don’t Ask…Don’t Tell” approach may not be the best.

We know things sometimes happens…for instance, a flirtatious encounter at work may have gone too far.  Or a surprise visit by an ex may have become way too intimate.

Here at PawiiBlogs we believe that it pays to come clean, but often it can lead to more problems than it solves.  With this in mind, we have developed some guidelines for helping you decide when it is best to tell the truth and when it is not.

Start by asking yourself these things:

  • Is it Possible for truth eventually come out?

Will your husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend eventually find out the truth?  If your partner discovers the truth through other means such as: surveillance, third party information, or accidental discovery, the damage has already been done, so if your spouse uncovers the truth before you confess, it will be much more difficult for you to regain your partner’s trust. Unfortunately, you have proven that you cannot be trusted to tell the truth when it matters the most, so keep that in mind.

  • Will the encounter (meaning the other person involved) become a recurring problem?

Relationships, even in the best of circumstances, are hard to maintain.  As Wendy Williams stated; if you bring up every mistake you make, it can cause more problems than good in your relationship.  Telling the truth about every little thing that happens, does not always help. But, if the problem at hand is a recurring problem, then it might be wise to consider telling the truth.

  • Will overwhelming guilt effect how you behave in the relationship?

Often people tell their husbands or wives, boyfriends or girlfriends, the truth in order to relieve their guilt.  Guilt, or feelings of shame, can wear people and make life unpleasant and when partners become suspicious, it is hard for relationships to get back on track.

In fact, research shows that marriages and relationships work the best, not when everything is out in the open, but when partners think they know the truth.

In closing, we do think the truth will set you free, but at the end of the day, the choice is yours.  This post comes as a result of a client that raised the question, so we thought it was fitting to share our thoughts on the topic.

Have a happy and truthful Tuesday.

~ Katrina

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