Tuesday’s Love Jones – Punishment!

Tuesday’s Love Jones – Punishment!Something popped in my head today about the word punishment. I was thinking that punishment only really works if there is NO OTHER WAY to obtain what is withheld, right?

Many women assume that there’s one way to a man’s heart and two ways to bring him to his knees by withholding sex. But, when you make the rash decision of blocking sex you may be tempting your man to result to other consequences.

For instance, when my kids were younger I’d punish them for various things they’d do by telling them to go to their room. However, in there rooms were the computer, t.v. and a ps3, so it wasn’t much of a punishment unless I itemized their punishment first.

The same goes for women in relationships and marriages. If you are going to withhold sex from your man, you’d better be absolutely sure that there is no way possible for your significant other to have access to pleasure somewhere else. And, we all know that is impossible, cause there are ALWAYS willing pleasures just lying around. Read between the lines and think about it.

Ladies, be honest. How many of you have withheld sex from your husband or boyfriend because you didn’t think he was paying TLj - Punishment! attention to you recently when you thought it really counted? Haven’t some of you withheld sex because you found that he was spending too much time with his friends and you wanted to ‘teach him a lesson’? Oh, and there’s the ever popular argument that he wasn’t giving you enough time, so you decided ‘no time, no shine’!

To cheat or not to cheat, that is the question. Since beginning coaching, I’ve learnt that some women like to stay in a bubble and think of men behaving how they think men should behave. I have also learnt that we women should really try a bit harder to understand a man’s perspective. You don’t have to agree with everything but understanding is key.

Things you can do instead of punishing…

WOMAN: Talk with your husband. Ask him for his input. Make sure you two are on the same page with abstaining. Discuss how long you’re going to wait, and stick to it. (Now if you want to break your abstinence early, by all means, go for it! But if you agree on a specific period of time and that time passes, it’s time to have sex. Don’t continue without talking about it first).

WIVES: You can still be “intimate” without having intercourse. Touch each other frequently. Kiss. Embrace. Be naked with one another. Spend quality time together. Make your home and heart a place of respect for your husband so he still feels loved during the abstinence period.

HUSBANDS: Be patient and understanding. Be calm about any sexual frustrations before lashing out at your wife or making any damaging decisions that will irreversibly effect the marriage.

Hope this has helped you rethink this Tuesday,

~ Katrina Gurl

4 Comments on “Tuesday’s Love Jones – Punishment!

  1. I don’t know about the whole punishment thing sis. I’ve never been a fan of punishing anyone or changing something that’s consistent based on what’ happened recently. Feel like if I was in a relationship like that it’d be childish lol. Then again, I do understand it happens and that a lot of people out there do think like that. Withholding intimacy is definitely a way to “Put a Wedge” into your relationship and I really agree with your points there. Great post! :0

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Punishinment seems juvenile and might not solve an issue, it might just make the punished person act out. Communication might be a better solution as long as BOTH parties are willing to listen.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I totally agree, Emmanuel! Withholding sex in a committed relationship literally opens the door to possible infidelity. Not all men choose to go that route, but it certainly is a hindrance to have cookies at home with no access to the jar.

    Thanks for your feedback!



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