Coaching couples and helping them with their issues sure can lead one to thinking of a few things in your own life. My last couple began talking about fantasies with one another, which lead to arguments and a little resentment. The woman felt that her guy was not even attracted to her after finding out what he really wanted and her fantasy left him feeling less than endowed.
I had a FREE 30 Minute Phone Consultation with them and let the know that there was a better way to begin sharing and that there was no real reason to be upset by the fantasies a person may be having unless there were a way to actually control what randomly popped in persons head.
Let’s face it; sex and imagination are a part of life and fantasies are an important part of sexuality. The erotic images and ideas that you dream up are what fuel your sexuality and keep you in touch with your desires. However, respect and boundaries must be at the forefront.
Sharing a fantasy with your lover can be a little uncomfortable, but before you chose not to share let’s figure out a way to segue to your real fantasies.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to share and explore your fantasies with your partner and by sharing your fantasies, you reveal a part of yourself that no one else in the world gets to see. As a result, your intimacy will shoots through the roof.
Here are the top 3 and most common fantasies
- Domination & Submission
This one is most popular and can range from light bondage to full on BSDM which is Bondage & Submission, Discipline & Masochism.
You can use your hands to hold your partner’s arms over their head while you kiss them, or use a necktie or silk scarf to tie them up. Blindfolding works nicely too. The element of surprise is key…they won’t know where you’ll touch them next and that’s very erotic. This is particularly fun play for someone who’s always in a dominant role in the world; it gives them a chance to reverse roles and be submissive for once.
- Sexual Stranger Danger
The basic idea is to pretend you don’t know each other
In this common classic fantasy, the sexy (perhaps) exterminator guy comes to the door and you seduce him inside. Or the police officer comes to ask if you’ve seen a suspicious man in the neighborhood and stays to comfort you in your fear. You get the idea.
- Innocent but Naughty
Here’s your time to go back to school. Only this time in a skimpy schoolgirl outfits or a naughty librarian.
This one never gets old. The fantasy take place where the woman who seems innocent either gets seduced by the older more experienced man, or she’s not nearly as innocent as she seems in the first place. Either way, both pupils win!
Create a container for all your fantasies. Use a clear jar or a nice red box and mark it OUR FANTASY BOX. Take some time to write down your favorite fantasies on slips of paper, fold them up, and put them into the box. Whenever your sex life seems to be a tad routine or predictable, pluck a slip of paper from the box. It’s just like drawing a raffle ticket, but the prize is a chance to make a sexual fantasy come true.
Learning, being open and exploring together as a couple is the way to have great sex and an even better life. The possibilities are limitless, so stay curious about each other and experiment.
Have a happy Tuesday!
~ KitKatCoaching on Youtbe