Have ever saw a woman stay in a bad relationship? And the guy was so bad that you just couldn’t understand why she is even with him? Well, she may have an Oxytocin addiction, an epidemic in the female community.
Oxytocin the so-called “love hormone” that is scientifically known to trigger a wide variety of physical and psychological effects in both women and men, but in some cases more-so women.
The hormone’s influence her behavior and physiology originates in the brain where it produces a structure called the hypothalamus, and then transfers to the pituitary gland which releases into the bloodstream. Like antennas picking up a signal, Oxytocin receptors are found on cells throughout the body. Levels of the hormone tend to be higher during both stressful and socially bonding experiences, according to the American Psychological Association.
Oxytocin is literally the hormone of attachment, you might say, because it creates feelings of calm and closeness and scientists say that have oxytocin’s role in breastfeeding is the very reason the child learns to latch on to a mothers milk and using it for it sole food source.
How does this oxytocin effect impact a woman’s relationship to men?
When a woman is in the presence of an oxytocin-stimulating man, she may override her intellectual judgment about their compatibility. Where formerly she might be sexually conservative, requiring a serious commitment, she now finds herself deeply involved sexually before negotiating boundaries, such as: current marital status, criminal background, and financial accountability. The problem with oxytocin-based addictive bonding to an inappropriate man is that the intellect is relegated to a secondary status in choice and judgment and addiction to oxytocin as a pleasure takes over.
How to help with this particular addiction!
First of all, oxytocin is natural chemical already in the body, so it will be hard to go cold turkey on this one. You will need to get ACTIVE if you want to see a change. Oxytocin creates a high for women that is often mistaken for love. The longing for the man is what women feel and the great sex gives oxytocin a chance to once again releases the built-in-drug-like-substance all over again, which makes it hard to overcome a bad relationship.
Here are a list of things to do:
- Ask yourself what you really love about a man you feel an intense connection with.
It’s important to hone in on the qualities he brings to the table beyond sex and love that make you feel good being in a relationship with him.
- Next, ask yourself what you don’t love about him.
- Then ask yourself whether what he brings to the table is enough for you and the relationship you desire with him.
When it’s an Oxytocin addiction, there’s usually not enough beyond sex, love and a heart connection. Almost everything else is annoying, irritating and feels unsolvable.
- Get yourself busy.
The longing will come back, but with it you’ll also feel a sense of freedom from being out from under a relationship that isn’t working. An Oxytocin addiction can stay with you for years. To break it, start by acknowledging this is occurring. Stop all contact with the man by phone, email, Facebook or in person. Otherwise the addiction will start all over again.
- Value Yourself
You can do it. As with any addiction, it takes time to recover. Be kind to yourself, especially when you’re frustrated, feeling like it will never go away.
- Get Creative
Plan activities you can do that make you feel good. Get some friends together to be your support group. You will feel like a freak at times but know you aren’t alone.
- You are not alone…this is normal
This happens to normal people, and even to most of us at one time or another. The key is identifying the addiction so you can take the steps to overcome the Oxytocin high and move on.