Happiness or Wrinkles?
There I was, in the middle of a working on a book when it dawned on me; for the last 10 years of my marriage, my brain has been conditioned not to trust, respect or forget the past. Thus, no matter what he did that was overwhelming good…I cut it down and when he did something I didn’t agree with, I took that time to really set up the chopping block.
‘When I say chopping block, I mean bringing up the past to make him pay for what he did to hurt me all over again…all I needed was ANY excuse too.’
For example, he’d say something simple like “Work kicked my butt today…I’m beat!” And then me with my bitter self would reply, “Humph, you weren’t too tired to do that thing that you did years ago!” and it’d completely change the space in the room. Yet I’d do stuff like that over and over.
Being tired of being sick and tired, I realized that my desire to be happy trumped everything else. Bitterness was taking over my life and I wanted to change. I was told that bitterness ages you and I already have a problem with getting wrinkles, so I KNOW I needed to change QUICK!
However, while it’s simple to state that you ‘desire happiness,’ it’s a totally different thing to change your regular ways of thinking and the actions taken from our thoughts in our daily lives.
I had to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask myself: What can I do personally to make this happen?
For my happiness, I wanted my husband to be the kind of person that I felt comfortable with, not just as the guy I married, but a true friend that I wanted to share everything with.
Over the course of 6 months, I studied the concept of my own happiness. The first thing I did was begin to speak better to my husband. I made an effort to show him respect and appreciation. And then, I began openly speaking and thinking highly of my husband. When I started doing that, I realized a great change in him almost immediately.
My husband is naturally a giving person and through me changing towards him so drastically, he began changing towards me. Over time, I literally noticed my thought process changing. I notice him talking to me more about the deep concerns in his heart and I found myself doing the same.
All the little things that my husband did that threw me to the roof before, we’d find ourselves laughing about them more than not. Turns out he is really cool person…I shut him out of my heart for so long that I almost forgot that.
My bitterness and not willing to forgive and let go almost made me miss out on all the good things my husband wanted to do with and for me. Even miss out on what the ‘togetherness’ marriage is supposed to really be.
Bitterness was making me an ugly person inside and out…it caused my awesome, positive personality to change into a person I was becoming to not even recognize. Alas, the more I found my own happiness, the more I let the pass go.
So, I say to you…
No matter the negativity you are dealing with in your life; you alone have the power to change your way of thinking for a happier and fulfilled life. Happiness is a choice that we can make every day of our lives. We only have one life, so let’s live it in the best way we can.
‘Besides, anything that will keep those wrinkles away…I am all for it!’
What do you want to be happier in your life about?
Have a great Tuesday!
Learning to Protect Your Marriage on Amazon
Join my for my yearly birthday blog June 4th…it’ll be a fun read.