Tuesday’s Love Jones – Chemistry!

We all know and can clearly see that Barack and Michelle Obama have “IT!” No matter what they seem to do politically correct orbarack-whispers-something-to-michelle-during-a-break-between-events-at-the-2011-un-general-assembly not they steam across our screen with the love they share.  They seem to have THAT THING that most couples long for.  Which are an unparalleled connection, irrefutable understanding and uncontrollable love.

Chemistry in a relationship is like a performance

Chemistry. What is it? It’s that… well, thing.

Chemistry is the inexplicable, ineffable magic that happens when two people are profoundly attracted to each other, magnetized by each other’s voice, smell, body and gestures and infused by a feeling that one has hit the equivalent of the mate lottery and stumbled upon the right fit.

But what causes it? Can it be something learned, created or does it just need to happen naturally?  Does it die over time, or are there tricks to keep the sparks flying?

There are biologically borne effects when a chemistry combusts between two people: feelings of pleasure, a quickened heartbeat and euphoria, elicited by the brain’s love chemicals dopamine, norepinepherine and phenylethylmine.

The first thing you can do to try and understand chemistry is to try and understand if you have it in your current relationship or if you have ever had it. If you have experienced chemistry then likely you will quite possibly be able to recognize it quite easily.

If you have chemistry with someone this will often be expressed as a kind of tension, and as a kind of mutual understanding and respect. You will find that you have no problem talking to the other person and feel at ease with them and that you can ‘bounce off’ of one another.

Chemistry has a purpose. It’s not random; it’s not a fluke. There’s essential information in the attraction that occurs between two people.

It’s important for us to know what chemistry is so we can use it to feel more love in our lives.


Don’t bypass or downplay the chemistry you feel; remember that it exists for a reason. The people you’re most attracted to are your greatest teachers in love. Show up for the lessons they have for you.

Do you have great chemistry with someone other than your spouse…what have you learned from it???
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