Tuesday’s Love Jones – Men Need Their Woman’s Validation!


It’s true…even if he never tells you. Men need reassuring and safe validation from the woman he loves!!!

This weekend I took the time out to watch some old movies and one the movies on my list was “Harlem Nights” a Eddie Murphy flick where he plays “Sugar Ray”, the owner of an illegal casino, who contend with the pressures of vicious gangster and corrupt policemen who want to see him go out of business. Taking place in the 20′s during the height of organized crime and police corruption.

Although there are MANY memorable scenes in this movie; the one that has always stuck out to me was the “SUNSHINE” scene. This is where Ritchey falls in love with Sunshine! The man spent one night with her and quickly decides to leave his ENTIRE family for her!!!

For some reason that has always amazed me that a woman could actually cause a man to make such a life changing decision with high consequences THAT fast. Now when the movie originally came out, I was 16 years old and had NO clue as to what would make a man do such a thing, but fast forward umpteen years later with added living and learning, I have learned that if you BELIEVE in a man, you’ll either have a a friend or partner for life.

In the movie I noticed one major thing that Sunshine did. Not only did she obviously show him a good time in bed, but she also made his hopes and dreams seem feasible. Sunshine encouraged and seemingly believed in all the words he was speaking to her. Sunshine made him feel like a man and she validated every word that he spoke. Not in the weak way that society looks at submitting, but she did it in more of a showing ultimate respect kind of a way. Most women look down on submitting because of the very meaning of the word, but if a woman submits to her man as a level of respect she would soon find that it shows more strength and leadership than not.

Let’s face it; men thrive on ego boosting and as adults if we admit that…the world and relationships would work at such a smoother pace. Men need to feel validated and women need to feel nurtured. It won’t kill us all to admit that, right?

Top 2 reasons why men cheat (there are more, but these are the top 2):

#1. He’s afraid of not satisfying – no really he is.
Men feel tremendous amounts of pressure to perform sex perfectly.
Do This: Just relax and try to enjoy sex, don’t take it personally
if it’s not that good…just keep trying to get it right and be okay with that.

#2. Men need validation in the area of sex and life.
Men don’t look at sex the same way women do. To men,
if they have not satisfied the woman it actually effects
how he looks at other aspects in his life. A man can actually begin
feeling incompetent if he’s not pleasing his woman in bed.
Men not only want to conquer this thing we call life, but they also want
to be the super hero in the bed too. They may not say so, but it’s so!!!
Do This: When he is doing something you like do a little indicator by
actually saying, “That feels good baby,” or by letting out a breathy moan
and by all means STOP faking orgasms ladies! The only thing that comes from faking
an orgasm is frustration and guilt. Women should feel guilty about giving men false
confidence that they did a good job when they surely DID NOT!!!

So anyway, the moral of the blog here is to share a little SUNSHINE in your relationships and see how much it will change, grow and become enjoyable. Use the power of validation to make the bond with your man stronger!

DISCLAIMER: We are in NO way implying that solely believing in a man is what will make a relationship work or cause a man to stay in the relationship OR never cheat.  All we are saying is that VALIDATION is POWERFUL!

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