Tuesday’s Love Jones – Life after Cheating!
Once a cheater always a cheater is the saying familiar heard, right? But is that a true statement?
Not all people that have cheated want to continue down those paths of untruths. However, when a person has been cheated on it may be difficult or near impossible to regain trust in the relationship. Some people say that women have this intuition that always gives them a gut feeling that they are being cheated on and some even say that the lie can be traced in a kiss, but what if there are NO SIGNS?
When women cheat, the path to the cheating may come as a BIG surprise to men, because women are naturally multitaskers and the cheating process can be seamless with very little trails of deception left behind. As for men, some of the signs may be there such as late work nights, more time in the gym and sudden fashion consciousness, but men are slick too and can cheat for years with little to NO detection. You never thought it could happen in your relationship, but you find yourself smack-dab at the face of what feels like a crisis. Your man or woman has cheated on you.
So how do you recover? Can you recover? Should you recover?
First thing you need to do as a couple is to honestly discuss rather YOU BOTH feel as if the relationship is worth salvaging. If you come to the conclusion to stay, there are some things that will need to be addressed. The CHEATER will need to:
~ Stop Lying.
~ Do not get defensive or assign blame.
~ Cut any and all possible ties with the other man/woman.
~ Your life must be an open book.
~ Be prepared to answer any and all questions about information that your spouse has a legitimate right to know.
~ Do not attempt to dictate the length of time the victim spouses’ recovery should take.
~ Do not behave inappropriately or create future problems.
Never go all Kristen Stewart and always be aware that the discovery of infidelity is a devastating experience and although a relationship can often recover, sometimes the emotional damage is way too great to repair.
When a cheater has finally gotten caught OR have come clean the often have no idea what to do as far as rebuilding, behaving or regaining trust. We strongly suggest counseling for this…in NO WAY possible should we have problems in our relationship without seeking help or working on them alone. Would you attempt car repairs with NO knowledge or skills? No, you’d take your car to a certified mechanic.
When RE-beginning your union a written constitution is imperative and I am just the person you need to talk to about it. CALL ME NOW for your appointment!