Tuesday’s Love Jones – Turn BOB-A$$Ness Around!

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Release the “BOB” in you
by Katrina Gurl

In the 1995’s blockbuster “Waiting to Exhale” based on Terry McMillan’s novel, this film follows four very different African-American women and their relationships with the male gender. Angela Bassett played the character of Bernadine in the film. Her husband of 11 year divorced her for another woman after she’d helped him build his business from the ground up. In the duration of the movie Bernadine went from furious to worse, but by the end of the film she also found forgiveness and peace from the pain she’d endured.

You’ve probably met more than a few bitter women in your life. “BOB” is slang for bitter old bitches.

At a certain age some women become bitter and hardened because they don’t feel the youthfulness that they once did in their 20’s or perhaps simply because of past hurts. Bitterness is what long term resentment turns into. Resentment is what unexpressed anger turns into. Anger is what one feels when one is hurt or indignant. Anger is a survival emotion, as normal and natural as crying or joy.

Certainly, not all old women become bitter and angry, but is there hope for those that are?

Bitterness and resentment are natural reactions after “hurt” has taken place. these hurtful events can disrupt your sanity and peace of mind and then can ultimately destroy the way you see yourself and overall confidence. Also, because of the hurtful events in ones life; it may cause a person to make very irresponsible decisions and actions in their lives, especially in the way they treat others. They may even actually show signs that physically effect their  health.

Bitterness increases alarming health concerns such as: stress, which can raise your heart rate and blood pressure and interfere with the proper functioning of the immune system.

A change of heart and attitude may change your life AND overall health. If you need to forgive someone…forgive them and always understand that forgiving others is not for the benefit of the other person as much as it is benefiting you, your health and sanity! If you have issues with jealousies, let it go!!!! Look deep inside of yourself and find things that you can be proud of and move forward in life and last but not least take time toe grieve. Sometimes bitterness comes from holding things in that you have not properly grieved for. Many people think that grieving is a sign of weakness, but in fact it is a MUCH needed process to move on and past the pain. Also, most people may think that grievances are set aside due to a death of a loved one, BUT in some cases we need to grieve from past relationships and hurts to heal and move on.

So how do we do that?

For starters, acknowledge the pain and always know that there is no such thing as instant karma in this world.
DO NOT expect all ill feelings to flee your mind and an immediate sense of peace to wash over you upon forgiving someone. Though it may not happen that very moment, it will come in time.

The bitterness in your soul that stems from the hurt will go away and it won’t take very long the very moment after you stop clinging to the anger, pain, resentment and or jealousies you have for others. Keep in mind that no one else can take your happiness away from you. Letting go of the “BOB” in you is a personal choice and no matter what anyone else does to you; happiness, forgiveness and a healthy mental life is YOUR choice.

Use and abuse this advise and Have an AMAZING Tuesday!
~ Katrina Gurl

 

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