This blog caught my attention while at work about 3 weeks ago. The Tuesday’s Love Jones “telepathy post” is what officially got me hooked, but when the crush postings arrived, well let’s just say, that “I” Janice, AM A DIEHARD FAN for as long as this little operation is in business.
I too have a crush story to add. However, it doesn’t end as dreamy as some of the other posts I’ve come across in these parts. My crush began as a purely platonic friendship. Stanley and I’d been friends for several years. We worked at the same computer company, building HP’s for a living in Palo Alto CA. We’d both had the same mutual friends, went to the same places after work, watched the same types of movies, I’d finish his sentences, he’d know what I was thinking just by the look that I had on my face… even our co-workers said that we acted like and old married couple.
I could count on him for everything. Stanley literally stepped in just like a soldier to help me through the loss of my father and I was right there to help him get through a very tough divorce and custody battle. I called him my blankie and he called me his safety net. Stan is a great looking guy, but I just wasn’t attracted to him in the relationship kind of a way, so our friendship just worked. Or so I thought.
In 2009, the company was doing a lot of major changes and a lot of us lost our jobs. My rank was a little higher than his, plus I was employed at HP longer, so I was able to keep my job. Stanley on the other hand was not so fortunate. Even though HP let him go, he still was able to find work. Bad thing about it was that he decided to move closer to his family in Arizona. His brother owned an aluminum factory in Phoenix, so he took the work rather he wanted to make the big move are not.
Here’s where things go downhill for us. Before Stanley left for Arizona, he asked me the strangest thing. He asked me to come with him. Then he told me that if I came with him that he was sure he could get me hired. He also said that he really didn’t want to move so far away without me. The things he was saying totally took me by surprise. He went on to tell me what I meant to him and the more he talked, I noticed he began slowly bending on one knee.
Of course, I thought his back was giving out on him, because I KNOW STAN WAS NOT ABOUT TO ASK ME WHAT I WAS THINKING HE WAS! But, I nearly fainted when he pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him. His eyes were all watery as he eagerly awaited my answer. Then my eyes got all teary, but not out of joy or bliss. My eyes were teary because I did not want to be part of hurting the man that I not only loved, but respected with all my heart.
“Stanley, no…I can’t marry you. Our relationship would never work that way. I’m so sorry.” I said as my eye whaled with tears.
Stanley closed the little black case, got off of his knee, and looked at me in pure confusion masked with pain, turned around and left with his head down. The pain that was in his eyes is a pain that I hope I never witness again in my entire life.
That happened about 2 years ago. Since then, all I’ve had was failed attempts of contacting him just see how his life was going. Even if Stan asked me to marry him today, my answer would still be the same, but I sure do miss the friend that was the biggest part of the drum beat in my heart.
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SECRET CRUSHES REVELED