Mind Blowing “SEX”, but the relationship “SUCKS” !!!

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A woman wrote me today with a VERY serious relationship question. I thought it’d be a great idea to hear from you all on this. I have removed her name from the letter to protect her identity. Please read her letter and share you honest opinion. Your posts WILL be counted.  Fan Us “LIKE” Now
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Question for the Coach,

Sex with my boyfriend is SO good…mind blowing even, but the relationship SUCKS!!! We break up, argue and try to dissolve the relationship, but SEX keeps bringing us back together. It’s a never ending story! I want him out of my life, but OMG the man is every woman’s DREAM in bed!!! We use each other like a drug for sex and it has become a habit very hard to break!!!!

What am I going to do!!! Time only goes one way; FORWARD! I’m in my late-twenties and have been thinking about having children, but a family life style is not key between us and I don’t wish to bring children into the world with me having an unhealthy relationship. While on the other hand, I want to enjoy my sexual youth. My dilemma is very real, can you help with any advice?

13 thoughts on “Mind Blowing “SEX”, but the relationship “SUCKS” !!!

  1. We have really gotten some interesting feedback on this blog!
    Our facebook members are pretty outspoken LOL…

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  2. Donna says:

    I think it is sad when the sex is great but the relationship falls to pieces because as great as sex is…and believe me when I say that GREAT SEX is TRULY GREAT!!!!! You have to have something else that keeps you connected outside of the bedroom. Communication, Compatability, the Ability to be able to talk as both Friends, and Lovers! This is key to any relationship. Great Sex is Indeed Great but, it does not a Relationship
    Make!!!!! I’m just sayin…:-)

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  3. Katrina says:

    I agree and love your reply Donna…. and think this too: What happens when the sexcapades end…without the realness, the truth and the communication the relationship fails! Without those key things even the great sex won’t revive what was dead from the beginning.

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  4. Renda says:

    WHO KNOWS HOW MANY OTHER WOMEN HE SLEEPS WITH THAT FEEL THIS SAME WAY ABOUT HIS “BED HABITS” SISTA…VALUE YOUR LIFE MORE THEN SEX…. GET A MACHINE IF YOU NEED IT LIKE THAT AT LEAST YOU WILL NOT CATCH A DEATH SENTENCE….TRULY THIS IS NOT GOING ANY WHERE POSITIVE!!! RUN & DO NOT LOOK BACK…. COUNT IT A REAL BLESSING YOU ARE STILL IN GOOD HEALTH!!! TAKE SOME SERIOUS TIME TO REPROGRAM YOUR THOUGHTS-TO WHERE SELF LOVE, SELF WOTH & SELF RESPECT ARE AT THE TOP OF YOUR LIST!!! “DIVA GOTTA DO WHAT IS TRUTH- NOT WHAT FEELS BEST!!!!

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  5. Angela says:

    I’ve been there done that.. a man needs to be a man 24 hours a day.. not just at night.. they tend to suck the life out of you.. cut your losses, stop wasting your precious time, and know you will be able to look back and smile about the time you had together.
    BUT MOVE ON!!!

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  6. Angela goes on to say:

    My last bf girl, was 6’4 HOT, cut, finnneee dark chocolate.. he kicked ass in the bedroom.. TOTALLY KNEW WHAT TO DO.. but he was 29.. the daytime stuff become way to difficult.. was lazy, smoked weed and didn’t contribute to the household finances or responsibilitys.. it slowly started sucking the life out of the relationship.. in order for a relationship to work you need a man you can RESPECT.. without that.. its not ever going to work.. Ohh its hard to give up.. but the wave WILL crash.. best to do it while you can remain friends.

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  7. Yeah, it’s time for a little testosterone to drop on this post!
    time to bust you weak wanna-be brothas out. I’m droppin a dime!

    A man that believes “penetrating your mind” is not
    AS important as penetrating your body…

    will only be there for a season.
    She should find herself a MAN with strength of heart & strength of mind,
    whom values her for more than the jewels between your thighs

    cause you can find a “strong back” anywhere!

    (insert shameless self-promotion here… truly shameless!)

    Dr Seuss (aka rubbing your cat with my hat)

    Full attention as requested with no phones or distractions,
    with no complications or misplaced reactions.
    Concentration on your pleas, your fears to allay,
    and an offering of reassurance that everything will be ok.

    It seems your reflection, in the mirror, you’ve found.
    Good qualities all, feet firmly on the ground.
    Next comes the application process for the qualities you seek
    Here patience is required, you might need more than a week.

    Some will wine you and dine you, put rose petals in your bath.
    Others will shake you, try to rake you and take you for your cash.
    You must learn how to thoroughly process your applications
    to eliminate the fakes, fools and phonies and those in desperation

    Some say TWO YEARS is the minimum time required
    for references to clear and pretenders to be fired.
    Wants and Needs must be discussed, his job description to explain,
    through this course of trials, tribulations and some pains.

    You should enjoy the application process, go out on many a date.
    The choices are yours as to weather or not sex has to wait.
    But a MAN dedicated to fully knowing your mind
    will have the endurance to wait if he cant tap that behind. 😉

    You have described a man of honor, a quality now seldom seen.
    You’ll need patience for him to find you while you’re seeking your King.
    To understand and be understood are my highest aspirations.
    From there grows real love in all its truest demonstrations.

    Once a gorgeous young woman shared her material things.
    Food, accommodations and spoke of no strings.
    Yet, I had to leave that young woman, my heart heavy with pain,
    refusing her kindness and gifts just the same.

    I fell in love with her long before those material possessions
    I expressed that same love with demonstration and confessions.
    The qualities she has I thought I never would find.
    Only one thing was missing… no touching of our minds.

    She has body by Ferrari and common sense by the ton
    The face of a Madonna and curves made just for fun.
    Intelligence with compassion for all that crawls, walks and flies
    and a smoldering passion held in no short supply.

    But her heart and mind are sequestered behind a door made of steel
    through which she peeks out on occasion then the warmth I can feel.
    No, she is not a tease, if that thought may have entered your head,
    You can lead a horse to water but some horses won’t be led.

    Friends and intimacy should be part of your equation
    For mental and emotional, not just physical stimulation
    A partner to hold your head up when your strength is gone
    Not just a lover to satisfy all your love making jones.

    Articulate, affectionate and gives good demonstration
    Of his mental, his oral and emotional penetration.
    He should make love to your body as well as your mind
    And knows your place is beside him, not 2 steps behind

    While your romantic recipe simmers over loves fires
    And you’re sure of your ingredients, your needs and desires.
    Savory ingredients topped with special euphoria sauce,
    Will you have what you need or will you still feel like your lost.

    The recipe you’re creating is called “loves evolution”
    There’s no quick fix, no short cuts to make this solution.
    Your drama, his drama and your “baggage” combined,
    Some physical, some mental and emotional refined.

    Catching and pitching in all their various implications
    Both driver and passenger get to the same destinations.
    Wether you’re giving or receiving, doing the taking or being took
    The two should be of one mind, same page in the same book.

    The “Graduate Course”, The one you were seeking for a year
    Fill out the application. Have no worries, no fear.
    There’s no “real” pain or injury or humiliation involved
    Just your mind as a “love organ” completely evolved.

    Trust is a commodity many people fear to dispense
    So they spend their lives sitting on top of the fence.
    Foreign experiences and people they desire to use
    Checking out both sides while unable to choose.

    Contact is required for all… my heart, my soul and my mind.
    Patience to fulfill my NEEDS and WANTS, both someday I’ll find
    Patience is the virtue you measure against *what’s your hearts price?
    Quick decisions can equal disastrous things and a lifetime of strife.

    If your life is a journey you intend to plan for we and not just I
    Learn to enjoy the path you’re on, every day’s a new chance to try.
    You’re still young and there’s much time for you to find
    The course for life, trust your heart, soul and mind.

    “Ask and you shall receive” Place patience high on your list.

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  8. I have found through my experiences, “True love at the soul’s level goes far beyond the bedroom. If relationships are based solely on physical attributes, and what you can bring to the bedroom, then it’s based on selfish desires.”

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